Saturday, 23 April 2011

Scream 4 (2011)

Written by Axemaster & Happywax April 23 2011
Rating 2 out of 10 (we don't know who gave this film a 7.5 on I.M.D.B. but they should be flogged an fired !)

Director   -   Wes Craven

Neve Cambell      -      Sydney Prescott
David Arquette     -      Dewey Riley
Corntney Cox      -      Gale Weathers-Riley
Hayden Penettiere  -   Kirby Reed
Emma Roberts      -     Jill Roberts

 Hey there all you Scare Freaks ! Axemaster and Happywax in the dungeon tonight to bring you this emergency Flick review !! This is serious folks ! Your 14 bucks and some of your I.Q. is at stake here !!! Yes , it would appear that after seeing this retched piece of cinematic toilet paper , the only thing worth Screaming about is the fact that Neve Cambell chose this flick to come out of retirement for , and Wes Craven (master of Horror !!??) hasn't gone into retirement Yet !!!
 Heres what story there is , in a nut shell ...............
Okay , so , if you've seen 1, 2 , & 3 , there you have it !! If ever there was a film that had nothing at all new to offer , HERE IT IS !!!!  Okay , okay .... our job is to review(even if our eyes bleed !) , so here we go !!
Oh my god ! Here comes Wes ! Iv'e got to get out of this movie !! 
If Wes hits me up for #5 he's gonna get it !! 
   Sydney Prescott has returned home to Woodsburough , as a successful writer (of a story about her horrible past ) . She no longer feels like a victim (as you will when the credits roll !) and plans a new start . Mean  while Gale Weathers Riley and Dewey Riley (now the sheriff ) are going through some rough times . Gale feels like all the excitement has gone out of life . The story also revolves around the lives of a new generation of teens who revel in Woodsburoughs sinister past , and mock the "Ghost Face " killer at parties . (Enter the new crop of Hollywood stars and starlets , too numerous to mention here , but Hayden Penettiere and Emma Roberts are two of them ) It doesn't take long after Sydney returns for the killings to start again . Of course theories abound as to who will die and who will live (Yawn , Double and triple Yawn ) and the madcap mayhem ensues ! If you take your 2 year old to see the flick , they will be able to predict what will happen for you !!
"No Wes Please Make this Stop !!"
   Wes Craven .............. this man has been called a "Master of Horror " . In the 70's and 80's , this was probably correct . However , these days , if you are all out of ideas , and this is the best you can do , its time to pack it up and move to an Island far from any movie cameras !! This may seem harsh to some of you , dear Horror hounds , but maybe you didn't catch Wes's last flick , My Soul To Take ! And if you haven't , don't bother as it rates about the same as this crap !

      This concludes our Emergency broadcast live from Doomgoryums Dungeons ! All our lines are open for those of you who were unfortunate enough to have been to see this film and our Therapists are standing by to talk to you about your pain !!!

  Until we meet again ......  ..............In The Darkness  !!

1 comment:

  1. Hah, so I should be happy I missed out on that one!