Wednesday, 27 April 2011

The Descent

Written by Axemaster on April 27 2011
Rating 8.5 out of 10

Director   -   Neil Marshall

Shauna Macdonald         -         Sarah
Natalie Jackson Mendoza  -       Juno
Alex Reid                         -       Beth
Saskia Mulder                -        Rebecca
Myanna Buring            -         Sam

                  Hello ...ello.......ello...........ello ..............????
 Is there anybody in here !??........ ere............ere................ere............. !???
Man ! Is it Dark in this Cave !!! .....ave ....ave .......ave !!1
 Okay ! Okay , Sorry !! I'll turned off the Echo machine !! There ! Good to go !

" I told you guys to clean the hot tub dam it !!"
   Alright there all you Fans of Furious Fright !! Axemaster has "descended" (ha ha !) back into the dungeon with another terror treasure for you ! The Descent !  This is one you won't want to miss !
Here's the story in a nutshell ..............

   The tale centers around three friends , Sarah , Juno and Beth (the main chicks of the story really ) .
These Girls are adventure junkies to the Max ! Open on a white water rafting scene . The girls take on some killer rapids . Afterwards , they pack up and head off in separate cars with plans of meeting up at the hotel later . Sarah is driving along with her husband when they get into a car accident ! (pipe through the head for old hubby ! Ooooo messy ! ) Sarah's world is shattered as all she loves is taken from her .
"This was Sooo much easier when I was a size 6 !!"
  Fast forward one year . Its time for (lets see how we can risk death or disfigurement this time !!) the yearly adventure outing . Juno has convinced Beth and Sarah , who is still recovering emotionally , to come along for a bit of relaxing (FFffffahhh!!! BBbbrrrrrrrr !!! ) caving in the Appalachian Mountains ! (Home of many mix breed demented mutated hillbillies of course !) They are joined by three other friends . (Hhmm , body count fodder perhaps !!??? I'll never tell !!) Of course this is all taking place in the back woods , miles from anywhere ! Perfect of course ! The girls are busy studying the guide book for the cave system they'll be visiting , while having a good old piss up , night before cave party !
  In the morning Juno gets them all up bright and early , and off they go to the deep ! They hike up to the cave system , passing some dead deer , strangely chewed ( Double Hhmmm!) along the way . At the cave , our unsuspecting Adrenalin Freaks Gear up and repel down into the Dark ! (Gulp !) For a while everything moves along fine . Creepy Cavern unfolding before them silent and calm . Everyones keeping an eye on Sarah , being in a delicate mental state (great time for a cave trip !! Duh !) They reach a point in the tunnels where , in order to proceed , they have to wriggle through a tiny , narrow crack ( Double and triple Gulp !!) and everyone goes through , No Probs ! Everyone that is , but Sarah , She has a panic attack and gets stuck ! Beth comes back for her and just as she's talking her through , the roof of this stone casket starts to collapse !! They make it into the next chamber , but the way out is sealed !!
"Come on the fuse box is over in the corner !!"
  They talk about the situation , and of course being experienced adventure folks , they left details of where they were and what they were doing with others ! .......... Except , this is when Juno comes clean , and lets on that they are in an uncharted , unexplored system of Caves !! ( Jackass !!!) naturally the girls are pissed with her for being a dumb ass !! ( as I was in my theatre seat , spilling my popcorn in near panic myself Fright fans !!) Anyway , Juno convinces the gang , that the only way out , is to go deeper into the gloom , and find the Exit sign above the trap door back to the light !! As the group argues , Sarah slips away from them , because , she ...... hears    .. a  ....   Sound  . ! Is that water softly splishing ...... a tiny splash there .... splish splash ........... something taking a bath !!!???????????? Then , as she cranes her neck around to see the whole of the cavern they're standing in , her headlamp slides past ........ What Was That !!????  No It .... It Couldn't Be !! Was it ... Was It..... White .... Was It ...... Was It !!!????????
   Sarah hurries back to the Gang , and says " I saw someone !!"  They think old Sarah's had one to many adventure holidays and ignore her !    They Should Have Listened !!!!!!!
"You never know who you'll meet at these raves !"

  Director Neil Marshall likes his horror , gritty and full of tension (Dog Soldiers ) and if not tension , then Gore with a capital "G" ! (Doomsday !) . With The Descent , he gets everything rolled into one package ! tension , Gore , Grittiness , along with a good story of how people react under pressure ! And what friendship means , when the chips are down ! Of course he cleverly uses the primal fears we all have of , the dark !(Yes old Axemaster still sleeps with the light on !! I Can;t Help It !!) and claustrophobia to set the mood for the flick ! Then add in some unwanted visitors in that Darkness ..... Bbbrerr !! Its good ! Its frightfully good !
   But don't let me sway your opinion ! As always , I'm just here to review ! You decide , Faithful Screamophiles !!
                                     Until we meet here in the Dankness again .....
        and Remember ...... if your friend wants you to go on a caving trip ........ Punch him in the face and play Xbox instead !! 


1 comment:

  1. I loved The Descent, I lucked out and got to see it in the theatre. I loved how surprisingly bloody it was...shame about the terrible sequel though :(