For details see video review below in Episode # 16 of .. The Doomgoryum Report ! Enjoy !
Hi Kiddos !! Ahh Space !! The Freakiest place to be Frightened !!
While Axe is away fighting Zombies , Karl , Jimmy and I have been working hard to bring you another classic ! Pandorum !!!
This one is bound to make you decide to be a Canada Post employee , instead of chasing that dream of going into space !! Don't forget to subscribe to our You Tube channel if you like what you see ! Enjoy !
And remember ...
They really can't hear you scream in space !!!
Stay scared !!!!
"You Ordered That Electrolux !! Idiot !"
"Some days , I feel Like the Walking dead !"
"Electrolux Sucks ! Shoulda got a Hoover !"
"Wow , Take a shower man ! It get stinky in here !"
For details see Episode # 7 of The Doomgoryum Report in the video review below !
Hey there all you Creepy Kid Crazies !! Hap and I got a real
Gem for you tonight !........ Case 39 !! Bbrrrrr ! This one might make you think twice about adoption !! Check out Episode #7 of The Doomgoryum Report , and thanks for watching ! Let us know what you think and stay tuned for more Episodes , right here at Doomgoryums Horror Emporium !
Until we meet again in the Darker places ........
Stay Scared !!
"I HATE Zack Galifawhatzit !"
"My GOD ! They NEED Easy Off !"
"BBLLLAAABBEEEEZZ !!"
" Hi there Marylon Mansons the name !
Gender bendings the game !"
Louise Griffiths - Janet Jacy King - Mathilda Emiliano Torres - Miguel
Hey Kiddies, your old pal Happys got a treat for you , not many horror flicks especially ZOMBIE flicks slip under my radar, BUT, every once in a while one does, I'd never even heard of this GEM until a couple of days ago, shame on me for missing this great flick THE REVENANT.............The revenant in question is Bart (David Anders from Heroes and Children of the Corn), a soldier killed in battle in the Middle East. However, after his funeral, Bart wakes up in his coffin to find himself alive but undead. Bart and his best friend Joey (the scene-stealing Chris Wylde) slowly realize that Bart isn't really a vampire or a zombie, but a revenant, a undead hybrid that needs human blood to survive.
The Revenant's premise sounds a little like Bob Clark's classic Deathdream, but the film separates itself by being more of a buddy comedy flick with gore thrown in for good measure. This combination hits its mark as Bart and Joey try to find ways to get blood without harming innocent lives that eventually leads the pair to become "vigilante gun-slingers."
As a comedy, The Revenant succeeds thoroughly, and the casting of Anders and Wylde works to perfection, a naturally pair that effortlessly wins over the audience in a way that many buddy comedies try to achieve, but fail. However the film suffers from slow pacing that comes from The Revenant's more dramatic situations, particularly when Bart starts dealing with the issues he seemingly dropped to become a vigilante. Really, once the film gets to the point of Bart and Joey busting in on drug deals with guns blazing, is any one wondering why Bart hasn't dealt with his poor, suffering girlfriend?
The Revenant's ending is a welcome surprise, one I won't ruin, but it also points out another flaw. Rather than enter the film's story as a twist, why not build to it? Had The Revenant removed the parts that didn't matter to the overall story, the ending would have had even more impact. Still, it's always impressive to watch a horror film that has an ending you don't see coming from a million miles away. For that, and for making a slick, legitmate horror comedy (at least when it wanted to be a comedy), Prior is to be congratulated. I highly recommened this flick , I believe it just came out on Blue Ray last week so it should be easy to find, Whatever you do don't let this one slip under the radar like your Old pal Hap did.......................Enjoy
Hey Kiddies , Happys here and with me I bring the much anticipated PART 3..................In Extinction, the third instalment of the Resident Evil series, the deadly T-Virus has escaped the confines of Raccoon City and contaminated the rest of the world. Zombies now outnumber the living and, as the number of survivors on the planet's surface gradually dwindles, Umbrella Corp experts deep beneath the Nevada desert attempt to perfect an anti-virus.
Meanwhile, genetically enhanced zombie-killing babe Project Alice (Milla Jovovich) travels the country searching for other uninfected humans.
Sporting the latest in sexy post-apocalyptic desert-wear (which naturally includes stockings and suspenders), the drop-dead-gorgeous, high-kicking, gun slinging, slayer of the undead cuts a swathe through legions of shambling corpses (and zombie crows!), rescuing a rag-tag convoy of demoralised people in the process.
Alice convinces their leader, Claire Redfield (Heroes hottie Ali Larter), to lead her convoy to Alaska, where she believes they will be safe from contamination. But first they must head for Las Vegas, where they hope to find enough fuel to last the journey North.
Unfortunately, nasty Umbrella Corp scientist Dr. Isaacs, who has been tracking Alice via satellite, has a nasty surprise in store for our heroine and her new pals when they eventually reach Vegas: he's prepared a container full of extremely nasty zombies to greet them!
Helmed by hit-and-miss director Russell Mulcahy, and written by the equally unreliable Paul W.S. Anderson, Resident Evil: Extinction could have gone either way. I am pleased to report, however, that the guys were on form with this film, and deliver a hugely enjoyable and visually impressive sci-fi/horror yarn that, despite being rather derivative (Day of the Dead, anyone?) and occasionally a little too silly (Alice's telekinesis), is packed with enough action (great stunts, explosions, crashes), gore (juicy zombie bites, knife attacks, bullets in the head), and scares to guarantee horror fans a good time.
Ok Kiddies gather around cause Happys got part 2 done in the Awsome Resident Evil Series and belieive me when I say Apocalypse is an exciting fun ride throughout. It's action with a touch of horror, crafted to its finest. Make no mistake - this is hardly frightening or dramatic. Instead, it is heart-pounding entertainment like a Terminator movie. There's no time to think.
Instead, RE's scene to scene action will spin you through a wild mob of zombies, a perilous graveyard, burning car wrecks, a hopeful helicopter pad, streets full of retreating police, a K-9 unit (Yay!), people clawing at a prison city wall, an empty-looking schoolyard,... all the while with guns a'blazin', people a'runnin', and zombies a'chasin'. The film only allows a pause of silence for the classic slow-motion whizzing bullets, a bizarre car crash, and moments before yet another infected creature attacks. Action.
If you're the hopelessly logical, then this film is not for you. Your mind will inevitably wander through thoughts like if STARS knew about headshots, why didn't they bother giving the Racoon City Police a hint? Or, hmm...those zombies sure are slow on the ground; funny how they were just racing up the steps a minute ago. Don't bother. Give the brain a two-hour break, sit back, and enjoy.
If you're the philosophical type, you'll quickly pick up on the betrayed-by-your-own action/creation theme and smile in understanding when Nemesis rips out an iron bar for a weapon, leaving a spike where it broke off. Good theme. But that's pretty much it. What? You came to a Resident Evil movie to think?! If you're looking for a moral: never be the guy wearing a helmeted uniform in an action movie.
If you're the horror type, you'll enjoy the priest and how he takes care of his sister. And oh yes, a scene where a digital camera spies some children with their hands in the 'cookie jar.' Speaking of children, Angie Ashford's a little creepy too. There's plenty of horror – just not as much as 'Dawn of the Dead.'
My complaints? It's OK for action movies to have an ultra-powerful hero, but why god-like? There's no tension and danger when god's around. Fortunately, they RE characters have a habit of splitting up. Also, Nemesis wasn't frightening enough. A good dentist can fix his smile and he could almost pass as a pudgy stuffed animal. Well, except for the rocket launcher.
But, Like I said if you want a fast paced , zombie killin, ass kicker of a movie than look no futher than this Awsome popcorn muncher, its become one of my favs and I'm almost positive you like as much as I do, just remember to leave all logic at the door..........................
Hey kiddies , Happys got a treat for you, since I'm so stoked that their making another Resident Evil movie ,Due out next year, I've decided to review the first 4 movies this week, Sooooo lets get started................This has to be the best zombie-mutant-shoot-'em-up-splatter-film I've seen in years! It rocks, it rolls, it's lock and load entertainment of the finest kind! And certainly not for the faint of heart or even weak of stomach!
Resident Evil, unlike previous attempts to transfer video games to the big screen, is a great action film in its own right.
The plot is very simple: A team of elite commandos is sent into an underground laboratory to find out what caused the death of several thousand employees. Of course, an evil corporation has been evilly getting up to evil tricks and nasty things are lurking in dark corners.
Writer-director Paul W.S. Anderson pulls out all the stops as the countdown ticks down and the bodycount steadily mounts. There are moments that will make you jump and your pulse race, gunfire aplenty, loads of narrow escapes and some great "Oh Shit !" moments; all to a pounding rock beat.
There's more than enough blood and guts shown, figuratively as well as on the floors, walls and ceiling, to satisfy all but the sickest of individuals, and full credit goes to the prosthetics, make-up and special effects departments.
Milla Jovovich makes an excellent kick-ass zombie heroine (and I for one, would volunteer to have my neck snapped like a dry twig between her thighs anytime!) as does Michelle Rodriguez as one of the troopers.
Resident Evil is everything Tomb Raider should have been and wasn't. If you've lost faith in ever seeing a video game successfully make it to the big screen, you will believe again. If you won't see this film because it's based on a video game, you will be missing out in a big way. Overcome your prejudices, I did, and I guarentee that you won't be dissapointed with this flick...............................See ya tommorrow with part 2
Written by Axemaster on October 12 , 2011
Rating 7 out of 10
Director - Johnathan Liebesman
Cast
Chaney Kley - Kyle Walsh
Emma Caulfield - Caitlin Greene
Lee Cormie - Michael Greene
Grant Piro - Larry Fleishman
Sullivan Stapleton - Officer Matt Henry
Hello again from the Darkness , All you Terror Trolls !! Axemasters deep in the Dungeon tonight , trying hard to keep all the candles lit , with another Cool Tale of Terror for ya ........
Darkness Falls !!.
"You want to dance with me Baby !??"
This little number is from back in 03 , and it seems that there were a
few flicks made around that time that dealt with Fear of the dark , and this one had to be mentioned ! Here's the story line in a nut shell ........
The flick begins with a scene that fills in some background to the story . The narrator tells us the Tale of Matillda Dixon . She lived over a hundred years ago , in the town of Darkness Falls . She was a kind old matron who lived alone . She liked all the towns children though , and when they lost their teeth , she would act as the tooth fairy , and take them from them . Her home caught fire , and Matillda was badly burned and disfigured in the blaze . Her skin became so sensitive to light that she had to stay covered up at all times and began wearing a porcelain mask to keep the sun off her face !! (Jeeze , thats before the days of Coppertone !!)
"I get So Wrapped up in this stuff !"
Then one day two of the towns children went missing . The towns folk
blamed Matillda for their disappearance , assuming she must have gone mad and killed them . An Angry mob took her from her home and hung her for the crimes . Just before they strung her up , Matillda uttered a curse on the town of Darkness falls , saying that she would forever haunt the dreams of the towns children , taking in death , by force , what she had taken in life out of kindness !! ( Yup , Thats teeth folks !!) Then the next day , the two kids showed up , unharmed !!!!!!! ( ooopsie !! Sorry Matillda !) The town buried their secret along with Matillda's body .
Flash forward to twelve years ago . Young Kyle Walsh is about to lose his last tooth . He's thirteen and thinking of girls . One girl to be exact . Caitlin Greene . He's got
"I should have bought a MAG LITE !"
his last tooth pulled and set on his dresser for the Tooth Fairy to take . (Needs the cash to take Caitlin to the dance !!) Suddenly , there is blurred movement at his window . He goes over to take a look...... and ... sees ....... Caitlin !! She's come to ask him if he'd like to go for a midnight swim ! ( Yowsa !! ) He tells here no , because he has to get up early for practice ! ( Practice Shmactice kid!)
Caitlin is a bit disappointed , but then Kyle asks her to the dance and she's tickled pink . She gives Kyle a little kiss , and off she goes out the window . Kyle , floats over to his bed and hops in , working on his dance moves in his mind no doubt !! He falls asleep , but has bad dreams . He awakens in the night to the strange sound of someone moaning breathlessly . He sees movement in the shadows . In fact , the shadows seem
" Would you happen to have a Tooth Pick ??"
to be alive !! One shadow seems to separate from the rest and whips around his room at high speed ! Darting here and there ! Then ..... He Sees Her !! The Tooth Fairy !!! All the children of darkness falls know her story , but Kyle , like all the rest never really believed she was real , until now ! He hides under the covers , snags a flashlight of his night table , and manages to get out of his room into the hall , and the light !! The ruckus wakes his Mom , and she comes to see what the fuss is all about . Mom tells Kyle to calm down and go back to bed . Kyle insists that "someone" is in the house . Mom says she'll check the house , and starts with Kyle's bedroom !! ( Bad Choice Mom !! ) She enters the room , without flicking on the light , and looks around . She sees nothing out of the ordinary and says
"Looks like I need that Nose Hair Trimmed !"
to Kyle ... " See Kyle ! There's nothing to be af.......... !" and thats when the Tooth Fairy swoops down and picks her up and whips her around like a rag doll !! ( Creeeeepy !) Kyle freaks and spends the night sitting in the bath tub , with the lights blazing . In the morning , he is taken into custody and he becomes the suspect in the murder of Mom ! He claims that the Tooth fairy killed his Mom ! Darkness Falls believes he is a whacko , and the cops close the case .
Flash forward twelve years to now .
Caitlin Greene is in the hospital in Darkness Falls with her much younger brother Michael . Michael sees things in the dark ! ( Oh Boy ! Here we go again !) He tells her that there is some one after him in the dark . Some one that wears a Porcelain mask and hates the light ! Caitlin realizes that her brother is talking about the same being that her old friend Kyle talked about all those years ago , after being blamed for the murder of his Mother . She tracks Kyle down and gives him a call ! He's living in Las Vegas !! ( City Of Light !) He has the worlds Largest Flashlight Collection ! And yes folks , You Guessed it ! He agrees to come back to Darkness Falls to see if he can help Michael with his Night Terrors !!
Will Kyle be able to face the woman of his Dreams , and the Woman of his nightmares at the same time ??????
Will He be able to save young Michael from the tooth Fairy !!???
Will He get another shot at that date with Caitlin !!!!?
You'll have to watch to find out !! I won't let the cat out of the bag here !!!
My candles are all but burned up .........
I have a long way to walk through the woods ..........
Remember kids ....... she can't get you if you ..................
Cast
Kevin Zegers - Dale Billings
Jesse James - Ryan Billings
Rachel Skarsten - Heather Fontaine
Charles Powell - Eric Billings
Linda Purl - Sandy Billings
Hey there all you Diabolical Nerds Of The Night !! Axemasters back in the Dungeon on this rainy evening , with a little treat for you , in the season of tricks or treats ................
Fear Of The Dark ! Perhaps you've noticed that the last few reviews
Add caption
that my Old Pal Happywax and I have posted , all have the words
Dark or Darkness in the titles . Its a coincidence I assure you .
Maybe its the fact that the days are getting shorter and the Dark outside the windows is once again lasting longer , I don't know . But it made me think of this cool little flick anyway . Here's the story line in a nut shell ................................
The flick opens fittingly enough , with a scene of darkness ! In the background , we hear the voices of children at play . Then suddenly , light splashes onto the screen as a baseball smashes into a cellar window !! We hear the kids selecting
"I wish I hadn't lost my nail clippers !
Dam That Smarts !"
one poor soul to enter the cellar and retrieve the lost ball . Enter , young Ryan Billings . He comes in through the old fashioned style , Storm doors in the cellar . The kind with the steps right under them ! (you horror vets out there have had nightmares about steps like those I'm sure !) See young Ryan Billings is the star of the show , because he suffers from ..... Yup ! You Guessed it Fright fans !! Fear Of The Dark ! Not just a little either ! This kid gets the willies big time ! Even as he makes his way into the gloom of the cellar , he stays in the circle of light coming through the hole in the window . Suddenly the cellar doors are thrown shut , and Ryan is trapped in nearly total Dark ! He yells for his pals (With friends like that !! Sheesh !) to let him out ! He pleads with them really . But the jokes on Ryan ! As we hear the voices of his "friends" drift off into the distance , Ryan focusses on something out of frame and
"Stop Bugging Me !!!!!"
behind the camera ! Something in the Dark ! There are sounds in the dark . Sounds like ..... laughter !! ( bbrrr !!) At this point , Ryan isn't laughing though !! He's Screaming !!
Cut to a normal looking house in anywhere Suburbia . Ryan comes home , dirtied and sullen after his ordeal in the cellar . His Mom is working in her basement shop . She's an artist that welds the creepiest crap on the planet ! Steel Torso's that look like Dracula's dress makers dummies , and little medieval warriors and stuff !! ( great place to be a kid who is afraid of the Dark ! ) She wants to know how Ryans day was and the usual Mom junk . Her and Ryans father have a hot date that night and she's a bit concerned that Ryan may not be alright in the care of his older brother Dale . Ryan poo poo's his Moms concerns and heads up
"Make it a Lite ... Torch Lite !"
to his room . On the way , he stops into his Mom and Dads bedroom and chats with his old man . Ryan's Dad feels that he may be getting a bit old to be afraid of the dark , and says so . Ryan feels embarrassed by this , so his Dad lets up on him . He tells Ryan that there will be nothing to fear , as Brother Dale will be home with him all night . As he is telling Ryan this , the radio thats on in the back ground is saying that Thunder storms are heading their way for the night ! ( Hhmmm ! Forshadowing , perhaps !??) He also informs Ryan that Dale has brought home a female friend that he's been yammering on about for quite some time , Heather Fontaine ! Old Dale finally plucked up the courage to close the deal ! ( High Five Dale !) Upon hearing this news , Ryan forgets all about the dark and turns into the Nosy little brother . He B-lines it to
" I'm feeling a bit Batty !! "
Dales bedroom door and listens in on his big brother and his new squeeze !
Dale is trying hard to be a Dude ! He's playing the guitar , and talking about his band ( Hey Impressive !) , and offering to teach Heather to play ! ( is This Kid Slick Or What !!!??) They catch Ryan snooping , and Dale takes it in stride . Heather has to go to work anyway , so she takes off , and as the clock marches on , it gets to be time for Ryan , and Dales parents to get out there and Boogie for the night . They have their reservations though , and Dale is instructed on how to handle his little Bro , if he freaks out ! Dale assures them that their fears are for nothing , and tells them to have a good time and get out of here !
"Trying to keep a Level head ! "
So the stage is set , Horror hounds ! One brother , deathly afraid of the dark , and the other , assuring him , " There is nothing there in the dark , thats not there in the light " ! Sure Dale , we believe you man !! As the nights events unfold , Dale might begin to question that seemingly sound notion . Obviously that sound notion was thought of by some Egg head sitting in a nice well lit room somewhere !
Will Ryan prove that the Dark is a living thing , to be Feared and wary of !?? Will Dale prove to Ryan that there is nothing to fear !!?
Will Ryan ever have enough spare batteries for his flashlight collection !!?? Will Dale get a second shot with the Foxy Heather Fontaine !!??????? Well Fright Fans .. You know I won't tell you ! You'll have to Pop this one into the VCR or the DVD or the Blu Ray and see for yourselves !!
Fear Of The Dark , is an entertaining horror flick with some spooky scenes and a cool story , and some Jumps and Bumps that are worth checking out . It plays on that age old primal fear that lies in the hearts of us all . Hey I'll bet that even lou Ferrigno ran up the steps when the lights went out before he hit the gym and became the hulk !!
And Speaking of the Dark ...................
Once again ........... the light is growing dim down here in the Dungeon .
Time to close up shop and head for the lighted places ..............
Written by Happywax March 8 2012
