Saturday, 6 August 2011

Wrong Turn (2003)

Written by Axemaster August 6 2011
Rating 7 out of 10

Director   -   Rob Schmidt

Desmond Harrington   -   Chris Flynn
Eliza Dushku              -   Jessie Burlingame
Emmanuelle Chriqui   -   Carly
Jeremy Sisto               -    Scott
Kevin Zegers            -     Evan
Lindy Booth           -      Francine
Julian Richings       -     Three Finger


                    Hey there a;; you Gore Geeks and Lovers of Looney Backwood Wackoes !! Axemasters in the Dungeon this fine Saturday morning to bring you a treat of the Inbred Hill Billy Kind ! Wrong Turn !
Heres the story line in a nut shell .........................

"Picknic ! Sure I Love Picknic's !"
     The flick opens on a scene in the mountains of West Virginia . A young couple are out for some rock climbing pleasure . The guy makes it to the top first and his girl friend is still on the rock face . She's chatting away with him , but notices that he's stopped talking back ! She calls out his name and feels a huge tug on her lines ! Looking up , she sees her mans bloody hand sticking out over the edge of the cliff ! Then , He's thrown off the cliff !! (Gulp !) She suddenly finds herself being pulled up the cliff at an alarming pace ! She cuts her lines and Falls to the ground beside "Dead Climber #1"
and staggers to her feet and limp runs off towards her car ! Well , of course , she makes it to her car and reports the whole thing and the police save the day !! NOT !!!
She trips on some barb wire !(HHmm ) and ends up becoming "Dead Climber #2" !!
    Cut to the next scene ..............
Chris Flynn is in a hurry to get to the big city . He's got a job interview , and he's sort of late . To add to the problem , the highway is all but shut down due to an accident . He pulls off the road and goes to a gas station that looks like it was old when FDR's presidency was new ! He asks the old pump jockey if there are any short cuts to where he's heading . The old Bastard is quite unhelpful (Hey if I had three teeth , I'd hate the world too !) , but there's an old map on the side of the Gas "Shack" and it show's an old mountain road that heads through the wilds and into the city ! (Ahhh . Yeah !)
 Throwing all cautionary tales to the wind . Chris heads of down an old back road at break neck speed !
"Welcome to camp West Virginia Yall !"
He ends up Crashing into the back of a SUV with four flats , as he is changing CD's in his stereo ! (Hey gotta cruse the woods roads in style you know !?)
 This is where we meet the rest of the gang . Jessie , Carly , Scott , Evan and Francine ! They've come to the woods for some camping , and to help Jessie get over her recent break up . ( isn't that special !) Anyway , after giving Chris heck for totaling their Land Rover , Jessie , Chris , Carly and Scott head on up the road to see if they can find some help . This leaves Evan and Francine some time for a bit of Back Road Oral Sex ! (Yes ! Gotta love the great outdoors !! ) After that , Evan goes off for a squirt , and seemingly vanishes ! Francine ends up going to look for him . She discovers a shoe , and near it , His severed Ear !!! (DUN da da DUUNNN !)
"I Hate this brand of Floss !!"
 Of course she realizes too late that there is something sinister afoot in the woods of West Virginia ! She meets her untimely end with some barb wire dental floss and is dragged off into the brush !
     Mean while , the rest of the gang , have stumbled onto , (Yup You Guessed It !!) an old dilapidated Cabin in the Mountains . Once again proving that he's never watched horror films , Chris breaks into this "palace" in the interest of using a phone !! Of course , they Find a phone , Call the "Mounties" , and are saved , Averting disaster and more bloodshed !! OKAY . I LIED ! No They're Not !! They find all sorts of bad s"Stuff" in the cabin , and just as they are about to leave , the inhabitants of the place can be heard coming up the front steps !! Chris and Jessie hide in a broom closet full of vintage junk ! Carly and Scott hide under one of the cots in the main room . They are able to see that the "Owners" have been out "Hunting" ! They can also see exactly what's
"You better watch what you say bout
my sister , Cause she my MOM !"
on the menu for lunch !
"I think I got an Eyelash in there
or something !!"

  Obviously , Rob Schmidt borrows heavily from the classic tales of Hill Billy Mayhem from the seventies , but hey , if Rob Zombie can do it , so can anyone ! Wrong Turn is an entertaining flick to watch and the gore scene's are pretty good . There are some good tense scenes as well . And of course , this flick spawned another cult slasher icon ..... Three Finger !! the "Squirrel Talking" Tree Climbing Hill Billy Hacker , that went on to the sequels !
"I just Love a Camp Fire !"
  The cast was good and the pace of the flick was just right as well .
All in all , if you give this one a try , I don't think you'll be disappointed ! You be the judge ! Pop Some Corn and get some Soda , and get watching !!
  Axemaster ....... Signing off !

       And Remember ........ some times , its Much Much safer .......

                 To be a bit Late !!! Particularly in West Virginia Mountain Country !!!! 

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