Rating 7 out of 10
Director - Rob Schmidt
Desmond Harrington - Chris Flynn
Eliza Dushku - Jessie Burlingame
Emmanuelle Chriqui - Carly
Jeremy Sisto - Scott
Kevin Zegers - Evan
Lindy Booth - Francine
Julian Richings - Three Finger
Hey there a;; you Gore Geeks and Lovers of Looney Backwood Wackoes !! Axemasters in the Dungeon this fine Saturday morning to bring you a treat of the Inbred Hill Billy Kind ! Wrong Turn !
Heres the story line in a nut shell .........................
|"Picknic ! Sure I Love Picknic's !"|
and staggers to her feet and limp runs off towards her car ! Well , of course , she makes it to her car and reports the whole thing and the police save the day !! NOT !!!
She trips on some barb wire !(HHmm ) and ends up becoming "Dead Climber #2" !!
Cut to the next scene ..............
Chris Flynn is in a hurry to get to the big city . He's got a job interview , and he's sort of late . To add to the problem , the highway is all but shut down due to an accident . He pulls off the road and goes to a gas station that looks like it was old when FDR's presidency was new ! He asks the old pump jockey if there are any short cuts to where he's heading . The old Bastard is quite unhelpful (Hey if I had three teeth , I'd hate the world too !) , but there's an old map on the side of the Gas "Shack" and it show's an old mountain road that heads through the wilds and into the city ! (Ahhh . Yeah !)
Throwing all cautionary tales to the wind . Chris heads of down an old back road at break neck speed !
|"Welcome to camp West Virginia Yall !"|
This is where we meet the rest of the gang . Jessie , Carly , Scott , Evan and Francine ! They've come to the woods for some camping , and to help Jessie get over her recent break up . ( isn't that special !) Anyway , after giving Chris heck for totaling their Land Rover , Jessie , Chris , Carly and Scott head on up the road to see if they can find some help . This leaves Evan and Francine some time for a bit of Back Road Oral Sex ! (Yes ! Gotta love the great outdoors !! ) After that , Evan goes off for a squirt , and seemingly vanishes ! Francine ends up going to look for him . She discovers a shoe , and near it , His severed Ear !!! (DUN da da DUUNNN !)
|"I Hate this brand of Floss !!"|
Mean while , the rest of the gang , have stumbled onto , (Yup You Guessed It !!) an old dilapidated Cabin in the Mountains . Once again proving that he's never watched horror films , Chris breaks into this "palace" in the interest of using a phone !! Of course , they Find a phone , Call the "Mounties" , and are saved , Averting disaster and more bloodshed !! OKAY . I LIED ! No They're Not !! They find all sorts of bad s"Stuff" in the cabin , and just as they are about to leave , the inhabitants of the place can be heard coming up the front steps !! Chris and Jessie hide in a broom closet full of vintage junk ! Carly and Scott hide under one of the cots in the main room . They are able to see that the "Owners" have been out "Hunting" ! They can also see exactly what's
|"You better watch what you say bout|
my sister , Cause she my MOM !"
|"I think I got an Eyelash in there|
or something !!"
Obviously , Rob Schmidt borrows heavily from the classic tales of Hill Billy Mayhem from the seventies , but hey , if Rob Zombie can do it , so can anyone ! Wrong Turn is an entertaining flick to watch and the gore scene's are pretty good . There are some good tense scenes as well . And of course , this flick spawned another cult slasher icon ..... Three Finger !! the "Squirrel Talking" Tree Climbing Hill Billy Hacker , that went on to the sequels !
|"I just Love a Camp Fire !"|
All in all , if you give this one a try , I don't think you'll be disappointed ! You be the judge ! Pop Some Corn and get some Soda , and get watching !!
Axemaster ....... Signing off !
And Remember ........ some times , its Much Much safer .......
To be a bit Late !!! Particularly in West Virginia Mountain Country !!!!