Legion (2009)

Written by Happywax     Aug 2011

Rating 3 out of 10

Director - Scott Charles Stewart

Cast

Paul Bettany - Michael

Tyrese Gibson - Kyle Williams

Charles S. Dutton - Percy Walker

Kevin Durand - Gabriel

Dennis Quaid - Bob Hanson

Hey guys Happys back with another installment of the August of the Apocalypse and Ive a movie here that will make you wish the world actually would come to and end, now I like freakish films just as much as the next person, but they really need to make some sort of sense. Especially if you're going to be taking things straight from the Bible and trying to manipulate it to fit ...whatever you want to call LEGION.

Fairly new director Scott Charles Stewart goes beyond the grave and into Angel-Land in an attempt to draw Sci-Fi types and Bible-thumpers into what turns out to be a horrible mess in terms of script.

Paul Bettany (not known so much for his lead character slots as his supporting roles ...think MASTER AND COMMANDER, although I think he did a pretty good job with Priest, I know Axe Masters laughing as he reading this part), does okay with what's given him, but unfortunately doesn't really shine as Michael, the angel who wants to "give God what he needs, not what he wants." Michael (Bettany) comes down from the heavens in true Terminator-style, quickly ripping off his wings so that he can fit in with humanity. From here, he heads out into the desert to search for a pregnant woman named Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) who carries "the last hope for humanity." Why that is is never really explained. Guess it was just a roll of the dice for poor Charlie. Bummer girl! There are so many throwaway characters that we never really give a rats-ass about any of them, including Dennis Quaid (PANDORUM), Tyrese Gibson (TRANSFORMERS), Kate Walsh (GREY'S ANATOMY) and Charles S. Dutton (FAME). They all die in rapid succession and I just said, "Meh, So what." The only actor who actually DID something was Kevin Durand (3:10 TO YUMA) as archangel Gabriel who planned to follow Gods word to the letter and wipe-out humanity. But first he has to get by Michael with all of his bad-ass guns....

Wait...

You mean guns can kill angels? How is that possible? Never mind. Just let it go. Like everything else. Including anything approaching believability.

So with all that said, you might think I absolutely hated Legion. And that's probably partially true. The only exception to this would be the special effects which were nicely done, especially the creepy ice cream man who sprouts lengthy arms and legs and crab-walks into a hailstorm of bullets. Oh yes. He dies easily, too.

And there you have it. A movie that suffers because of a horrendously bad script, but has a bit of eye-candy in terms of CGI. If that's all you're looking for, have at it. But don't say I didn't warn you.