Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Rogue (2007)

Written by Axemaster August 9 2011
Rating 8 out of 10

Director   -   Greg Mclean

Radha Mitchell   -   Kate Ryan
Sam Worthington  -  Neil Kelly
Michael Vartan    -   Pete Mckell
Caroline Brazier  -  Mary Ellen
Stephen Curry    -   Simon
Cella Ireland     -    Gwen

                               Hey there all you Giant Crocodile Crazies !! Axemasters here in the Dungeon with a real Scaly Treat for you !! ......... Rogue !!
This flick , brought to us by Director Glen Mclean (Wolf Creek 2005 ) , is based on the true story of an Australian Crocodile , named "Sweetheart" , who attacked tour bouts in the 1970's !! Now your old Pal Axe is all for conservation ..... But when they get big enough to take on tour boats ...... Its time to make some nice Boots and Hatbands !!! Here's the story line in a nut shell ...........

           Welcome to the middle of Nowhere Australian style ! Its the Northern Territory , and Pete Mckell , a travel journalist has come to Kakadu National Park , for a scenic river trip . He writes for a magazine out of Chicago , and this is the second last stop on his Australian trip (Lucky Him) . He goes into what passes for the local diner and orders a coffee off the mangy bug eyed old coot that owns the place . (with a bit of protein added lets say !)
"I'll put anotha Shreemp on the
Bah Bee !!"
  He notices that the walls of this fine establishment are covered in photos of , very large crocodiles that have been hunted around the area for years . One more recent shot is of a 12 year old boy being pulled from the stomach of a Croc ! (Yuck !! Hat Bands I tell you !! ) Its seems this unfortunate kid was ...... Swallowed whole !!!
  Anyway , Pete finishes his coffee (yum !) and heads off to the boat tour . The tour is run by Kate Ryan , a feisty young Aussie , with a love of all things outdoors . On the tour , we meet Simon , the Photographer . Elizabeth , Sherry and Allen , a family on vacation . Marry Ellen and Everett , a couple from the states . Gwen , and Russel , two locals out for the ride .
    Everything goes fine for a while . Marlen Perkins would have loved it ! Then as the tour boat is Touring , They encounter a couple of Locals in a motorboat . Captain kate knows these two Hill Billies however . Colin and Neil , have been out hunting and drinking .  They stop
"Oh My God !! Thats Not
A Baby Ruth !! Get Out !!"
the tour boat by ramming into it lightly , and start ribbing the "Tourists" (apparently "Tourists" aren't welcome in this part of Australia !) . Captain kate warns Neil to get back in his own boat and hit the river or else ! He stays halfway on board , and Captain kate guns the motor of the tour boat , and dumps Neil in the drink ! Wow Excitement on the River cruise !! (They ain't seen nothing yet !!! ) The tour reaches the point where it must turn around and head back . As they are about to do this , Everett sees a flare further on up the river . Captain Kate tells everyone that they have to take a look for the people in distress , its the rules of the river . Everyone complains about missing busses and being on a schedule , but they go take a look anyway . They head a few miles into a part of the river that Kate says is "Sacred Land". Where no one should really be . (For good reason !) Just as she decides to turn back and report not finding anything related to the mystery flare , they see the hull of a boat overturned and sunk in the river . As they are drawing up close for a look , the tour boat is Rammed by something huge (And Scaly !) and begins to take on water alarmingly quickly ! Kate has no choice but to beach the boat on a small mud island in the river ! The passengers scramble out onto this little atoll and begin arguing about what they should do . Russel thinks they should swim for the shore , as he says this is a tidal river , and come nightfall , their little Island will become submerged !! (Gulp !!) Kate tries to calm everyone down and keep them from going into the water , but Russel is hell bent
"Okay lets make teems for
Water Polo !!"
on swimming for it ! Everett wrestles with him as he wades into the water . Russel stomps back on shore , asking what else they can do .
As the camera pans to follow Russel , we hear the water splash and a wave hit the shore . Everyone looks back at Everett .......... but there's No Everett !! Mary Ellen freaks out (naturally !) and everyone is cured of the urge to take a swim !! As they try to figure out what to do , they hear a boat approaching ! Yeah ! They're saved !! Its Collin and Neil the two Hill Billies come to the rescue !! Oh Wait , what's that ! Their boat just flipped over and they're both in the River !! OH NO !!! Swim for it Hill Billies SWIM !! Neil is a fast swimmer ....... Collin .... well , not so much ! They haul Neil out of the river and again begin discussing options . Its getting dark and Neil decides to swim for the other shore with a rope attached to him . His plan is to attach the line to a tree on shore and create a "Zip Line" between the slowly sinking mud Island and the mainland ! (Hey not bad for a Hill Billy !) He gets across and and fixes the line to the tree . First up is Marry Ellen . She gets
"I told you we should have gone to
Disney World !!"
about half way and (Yup You Guessed it !) she freezes up ! This seems to infuriate Allen , and he puts Sherry on the line and goes out behind her , as everyone is telling him he's nuts ! The tree on the other shore snaps as it was sort of rotten , and Into The Drink They Go !!
Every one makes it to shore . As Allen is lying on the bank , Blithering about how sorry he is , the Croc comes out of the water and grabs him by the arm !! It flicks its head and this grown man is hurled out into the river like a rag doll !! In a truly gruesome scene the Croc casually swims up to the one armed and flounder Allen , chomps onto him mid waist and slowly pulls him under !! ( These things make great looking Boot and Belts !! )
   So . will our gang of tourists make it off their slowly sinking Mud Pile !! ?? Will Pete Mckell every write about this river journey in his Chicago travel Mag ??? Will Captain Kates insurance every be able to cover this mess !!????
 You'll have to watch to find out !! I won't tell !!
Rogue is one of those flicks that freak you out because the "Monster" is something that really exists on planet earth . ( salt water crocodiles grow to be 20 feet or something like that ! Yikes !!! ) Some of you may be saying to yourself , sounds like a rip off of Jaws . Well , hey maybe a bit , but this is still a good one to try out on a dark chilly night ! Preferably just before a river trip !
"Hello ! Avon Calling !"
  Anyway , you decide for yourself Fright fans !
This is Axemaster signing off from the Dungeon for another night .

          And remember .............

       Sometimes , no matter how hot and sweaty you get ...........

"Say AHHHH !"
             Its better to stay Out of the water !!!

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