Rating 5 out of 10
Director - John Carpenter
Amber Heard - Kristen
Mamie Gummer - Emily
Laura Leigh - Zoey
Jarred Harris - Dr. Stringer
Sali Sayler - Tammy
Mika Boorem - Alice
Hey there all you Mental Hospital Maniacs !! Axemaster's in the Dungeon tonight with a flick you might want to see , maybe ... Kinda... Sorta ..... Okay , you could , unless you have , you know , like laundry to do . Or vacuuming .
A game of checkers down at the church social might be nice ! Okay , Okay I'll stop !
Anyway , tonight I review .......... The Ward !
Here's the story line in a nut shell ...................................
|"I don't have enough foundation to cover that up !"|
Cut to the next scene of a young woman running through the woods. No , she's not Trail running , to cut down on the weight ( this is the 1960's remember !) , she's running from the cops ! (We see these inept donut chokers driving around the back roads in their cruiser !) She comes to an old farm house , and lights it on fire ! (Sheesh !! Fire Bug !)
|"We told you !! NO Refunds !!"|
Kristen and they others start down the inevitable path to the land of , "Lets Get Killed One At a Time "
|" I wanna do Disney films from now on !!"|
And that Horror Hounds Is Your Clue !!!
You know , as a life long Horror fan , I've seen way worse flicks than this one . The Ward is watchable , don't get me wrong here , but , we're talking John Fricken Carpenter !!! This is the man who brought us The Thing ! The Fog ! Halloween ! Prince Of Darkness ! I could shout a few more titles , but you get the point .
In recent years , Master Carpenter has relied too heavily on special efx , and not heavily enough on something he used to be Great at ......... Story Telling . At least in my opinion .
But don't take my word for it . Check it out for yourself . As always , I am just a reviewer .
Until we meet again in the Darker Places .............
Stay Scared .