Friday, 22 July 2011

The Ward (2010)

Written by Axemaster July 22 2011
Rating 5 out of 10

Director   -   John Carpenter

Amber Heard   -   Kristen
Mamie Gummer - Emily
Laura Leigh    -    Zoey
Jarred Harris   -    Dr. Stringer
Sali Sayler     -     Tammy
Mika Boorem  -  Alice

                      Hey there all you Mental Hospital Maniacs !! Axemaster's in the Dungeon tonight with a flick you might want to see , maybe ... Kinda... Sorta ..... Okay , you could , unless you have , you know , like laundry to do . Or vacuuming .
A game of checkers down at the church social might be nice ! Okay , Okay I'll stop !
Anyway , tonight I review .......... The Ward !
  Here's the story line in a nut shell ...................................

"I don't have enough foundation to cover that up !"
  The flick is set in 1966 and the opening scene takes place  on a stormy night in North Bend Psychiatric Hospital . Its after lights out and all the patients are locked away and in bed . As the storm rages , an unseen force makes its way down the halls (You know its an unseen force because of the Cameras eye view and the scary music silly !!) and stops in front of a room with the name Tammy on the door . Unfortunately for Tammy , The unseen force kicks open the door , enters at high speed and BANG !!! No More Tammy !!
    Cut to the next scene of a young woman running through the woods. No , she's not Trail running , to cut down on the weight ( this is the 1960's remember !) , she's running from the cops ! (We see these inept donut chokers driving around the back roads in their cruiser !) She comes to an old farm house , and lights it on fire ! (Sheesh !! Fire Bug !)
"We told you !! NO Refunds !!"
The cops catch her at the blazing old homestead , and take her into custody . She ends up ... Yup You Guessed it ..... At North Bend Psychiatric Hospital , in ...... Yup You Guessed it again ... Tammy's old room . Her name is Kristen , and she is Very troubled . All she wants to do is break out of there and hit the road ! But unfortunately for her and us , she doesn't . Instead she meets all the rest of the girls in The Ward . The all female patients prove to be an interesting lot . They all know that there is trouble of the Unseen Force kind going on at North Bend ! Unfortunately for this film , the Unseen Force , doesn't remain unseen . It turns into a bad looking skull faced ghost named Alice ! Yeah , no I'm really serious here ! This might be the time you want to start that load of Laundry !
Kristen and they others start down the inevitable path to the land of , "Lets Get Killed One At a Time "
" I wanna do Disney films from now on !!"
Each time one of the girls gets picked  off by Alice the skull faced ghost , Kristen checks that persons room to see if there are any clues , and every time she does ..... Its as though they were never there ! Dah Da Da DUHH !!!!
And that Horror Hounds Is Your Clue !!!
    You know , as a life long Horror fan , I've seen way worse flicks than this one . The Ward is watchable , don't get me wrong here , but , we're talking John Fricken Carpenter  !!! This is the man who brought us The Thing ! The Fog ! Halloween ! Prince Of Darkness ! I could shout a few more titles , but you get the point .
In recent years , Master Carpenter has relied too heavily on special efx , and not heavily enough on something he used to be Great at ......... Story Telling . At least in my opinion .
 But don't take my word for it . Check it out for yourself . As always , I am just a reviewer .

              Until we meet again in the Darker Places .............

                            Stay Scared .


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