Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Arachnophobia (1990)

Written by Axemaster July 27 2011
Rating 7.5 out of 10

Director   -   Frank Marshall

Jeff Daniels   -   Dr . Ross Jennings
Harley Jane Kozak  -  Molly Jennings
John Goodman  -  Delbert McClintock
Julian Sands  -  Dr. James Atherton
Brian McNamara  -  Chris Collins
Stuart Pankin   -   Sheriff Lloyd Parsons


                          Hey there all you Creature Feature Freaks ! Axemasters in the Dungeon tonight with an Oldie , that kinda Moldy , but its still a Goldy !! .......... Arachnophobia !! ( Ffffffew ! Thank god I never got that word at the spelling Bee !! ) You know , I can hardly believe that twenty years has gone by since this flick came out ! Its a fun sort of dark comedy like flick , and its still worth watching ! Here's the story line in a nut shell ..............................
"Wait a minute ! I Said Whiskey In A jar !! "

     The flick opens in the jungles of Venezuela . Dr. James Atherton is a Bug collector , specializing in Spiders !! (Eeew!)
He's on a university funded expedition to find new and more exciting , er , Bugs , and Spiders ! (Yawn ! Wouldn't this guy be the life of the party !!???) He brings along photographer Jerry Manley , (who's not so Manly really .. kind of a whiner !)
to document the trips findings on film ! They travel to a remote bluff in the rainforest that has a two thousand foot deep sinkhole in the center of it ! The jungle at the bottom is undisturbed and Atherton is hoping for a new find ! (he won't be disappointed !) Their guide , a local Indian , won't go any further than the rim of the sinkhole ! Does this stop them ??? You Bet It Doesn't !
"WOW ! Look at the Venom Bags on That !"
They enter the sinkhole and smoke out an entire section of the forest . Shortly afterwards , all the Bugs and creepy crawlers that lived in the Canopy , drop into their awaiting specimen jars ! Manley goes to take a picture of one very large Arachnid , and the bugger jumps at him ! This sends thrills down Athertons spine as he discovers his "New" Species of spider ! (Yuck !) Very aggressive and of course , at least ten times as
"Oh Roseanne !!?"
poisonous as Black Widows ! They take back two live specimens and two dead ones ! The one they take back in Manley's back pack however .... They don't know about !! For Manley , this is real bad news !! Back at base camp , he opts for some sack time , and lies down for a nap . We see a rather large bulge , travel up his body , and then ...... ZING !!! He gets bit !!! (Ouch Dam !!) Well , the venom works very rapidly and Manley will never get a chance to be Manly again !! Atherton and the rest of the party think that he's kicked the bucket from a case of fever that has been dogging him , and wrap him up and ship him home in a coffin with a hole in it ! Through the hole , our friend the Super Spider , enters and hitches a ride stateside !! Manley's body travels back to his home town of Canaima California . When the boys at the funeral home open the coffin , they find that Manley is as dry as a raisin !! As the undertaker talks on the phone , a Big Fat Bloated Spider crawls out of the coffin , and out the window ! Its picked up by a crow and flown for a bit , and then the spider bites the bird and they drop right down in the front yard of Dr. Ross Jennings !
"I'm Not really That Dumb ! I'm Dumber !! "

          Dr. Jennings has moved to the peace and quiet (Not for long !) of Canaimas country setting , leaving San Francisco and his practice behind . Canaimas only Dr. , Sam Metcalf has promised his practice in town to Jennings . However , he gets cold feet on the Idea of retiring and changes his mind !! This leaves Jennings scrambling for patients ! He finds One , in Margaret Hollins . She's tired of Metcalf and his pill pushing old ways ! Jennings gives his one patient a physical , finds she's as healthy as a horse and takes her off of old Metcalf's pills . She likes Jennings so much , she throws him a Welcome to town party . It goes real well and afterward , it looks like some of the towns folk , might give the new Doctor in town a chance , but after everyone leaves , Margaret dies in the night , and Metcalf blames Jennings ! (Sheesh ! Old Bastard !)   While all this is going on , that big old Super Spider , has gone into the Jennings barn and mated with a normal spider !! (Gross !! Spider Love !) The resulting Hybrid Arachnids begin to bubble out of the barn and take Canaima by storm !! Jennings soon finds himself the only Dr. in town as Metcalf succumbs to the Arachnid Horde !! Its up to Jennings to prove that the sudden unexplained deaths in Canaima are do to a new kind of bug , and not his medical service !!
"Okay Roseanne ! I'm ready to clean
your shorts !! "
Everyone is soon fighting the Arachnid Antagonists , including the towns , Rambo like Exterminator , Delbert McClintock ! Portrayed quite well by the always Robust .. John Goodman !

   Arachnophobia is a campy , fun old flick and worth a watch on a dark night ! Hey , if you suffer from a bit of Arachnophobia yourself , then this flick could be out right Horrifying for you !! They are Gross little buggers for sure !! So pop some corn and curl up on the couch ! You won't be disappointed !


                                          And Remember ........ Things that live undisturbed for thousands of years

                                in the Rain Forests .................. SHOULD STAY THERE !!!!!!!!!!!


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