Tuesday, 26 July 2011

House On Haunted Hill (1999)

Written by Axemaster July 26 2011
Rating 7 out of 10

Director   -   William Malone

Geoffery Rush   -   Stephen H. Price
Famke Janssen   -   Evelyn Stockard Price
Ali Larter          -    Sara Wolfe
Taye Diggs      -    Eddie Baker
Chris Kattan     -    Watson Pritchett
Peter Gallagher -   Dr. Blackburn

                           Hey there all you Haunted House Hellions !! Axemaster's got a little diamond in the rough for you !! Its campy , with a real Saturday afternoon Horror flick feel ! There's jumps , Bumps and Gore Galore in this one !  .............. House On Haunted Hill !! Here's the story line in a nut shell .........

"Can we have your Liver Then !?"
          The Flick opens on a scene in the 1930's at Vannacutt Asylum . A state of the art mental health facility , or so people thought !! Dr. Richard Vannacutt is enjoying some evening surgery , with out putting the patient under !! (Yikes!) It seems that old Vannacutt is really kind of a butcher , passing himself off as a caring Doctor ! (His nursing staff look like Ghouls too ! Yuk !! ) This evenings surgery session is cut short however , by an all out revolt of the patients at the Asylum ! They rip almost all of Vannacuttts staff to shreds and set the place on fire ! (No loss there !!) In the first three minutes of the flick , we have a gory blood bath on our hands ! Great !
"I feel a little grey today !"
After the fire , the police discover what a house of horrors the place really was and it becomes a local legend . Only five of Vannacutts staff make it out .

      Jump to present day ......... Millionaire Stephen Price , who runs amusement parks specializing in Creepy thrills and chills , rents out , Yup , you Guessed it ! The House On Haunted hill , for his wife Evelyn's birthday bash ! (Oh what a Bash it is !) Evelyn and Stephen have a Hate , Hate relationship , with a bit of a Murder , Murder relationship thrown in for good measure !! So the former Asylum turned into a creepy house is a perfect place to celebrate for these two ! Evelyn (famke Janssen RRrroww !) Gives Stephen a list of guests ! Stephen promptly shreds it , and makes his own guest list ! (Nice !) he leaves his office , and we see that the list he's typed up on his computer , deletes itself , and a new list pops up on its own !! (Creepy or What !! I Know !!)
  The Prices end up with only five people at the party on the guest list , and the current owner of the place Watson Pritchett . Pritchett is in a real hurry to get paid and get the hell out !! (Gee , think he knows something they don't !!? ) Before he can though , the place goes into "lockdown" mode ! All the windows and doors are sealed shut for the duration , with giant plates of steel ! This kind of dampens the party hardy mood , but since the Host is Stephen Price , and he has offered anyone who can last the night , a Million bucks !! They stay !! (what choice do the have really !??)
"Ah hand guns are so much better than
Cocktail weenies !!"
     Evelyn is naturally pissed as she knows none of their five guests and makes it clear that she hates everyone and will rip their heads off if they try to mess with her !! ( Gotta love that Famke !! Rrrrrrow !!)
From here on , we enter the "One by One "phase of the flick !
  This is one you'll want to give a try . Like I said , it has that campy feel , but there are some really creepy scene as well . The atmosphere is dark throughout , and the sets are all well done , and Eerie ! The tale isn't too bad either !! Will the gang Last the Night !?? Will the house get them all !??? I'll Never tell !!!
   So Fright Fans !! Get some Popcorn and curl up on the couch , and turn out all the lights !! I think you'll jump a couple times despite yourself !!

"This will help your sinuses !"
"Every Homebuyers Dream !"

                                   Until we meet again , in the Darker Places ............

                                                   Stay Scared !!!!!!! 

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