Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Demons (1985)

Written by Axemaster on May 3 2011
Rating 8 out of 10

Director   -   Lamberto Bava

Natasha Hovey    -    Cheryl
Urbano Barberini  -  George
Paola Cozzo        -   Kathy
Karl Zinny       -     Ken
Nicoletta Elmi   -   Ingrid

     Hey there all you Satanic Scream Seekers !! Axemaster is back in the Dungeon tonight with an oldie , thats a bit moldy , but it's still a Goldie !!!
"NO SERIOUSLY !! Your breath is really BAD!!
Demons !! This is a vintage flick from back in the day ! So warning to all who long for CGI ! ( FFF !! Why !?)
View elsewhere ! This flick has that vintage look , faded colors , 80's clothes (Yuuuck!!! ) and , best of all.. . Loads of latex blood sacks being blown open and shredded throughout ! Here's the story line in a nut shell......

   The tale begins with Cheryl , riding the subway to pick up her pal Kathy and go to music class . She gets off the train at a creepy station (That miraculously clears out in seconds just before she gets off !!) and finds she is being tailed by an eerie looking dude (No it's not the 80's clothes , though they are terrible !) with a shinny chrome mask on half his face !! She starts to panic , doing the old looking over my shoulder as I run thing and of course .... Yup , You guessed it ............ runs right into old Chrome face himself !! Turns out he's handing out free tickets to a movie being played at an old theatre in town ! Oh ! Okay , no problem then weird guy ! Why didn't you just say so ! Sound too good to be true ?? (I'll never tell !!)
"We Said !.... WE WANT POPCORN Dam It !!!"
   So our gal Cheryl , very relieved that old Chrome face is just handing out some free fun , takes the ticket and asks for one more for a friend . That friend is Kathy , who she meets on the way to school , and convinces to skip class and go see the free flick instead ! (remember kids , Skipping School KILLS !!)
  The two arrive at the theatre and go on inside for the show . Inside they get picked up on by George and Ken , Two pals also looking for a free show ! No one realizes just how real the show is going to get !! OOps , did I type that out loud !? Sorry ! Anyway , the movie starts and the story on screen is about (You'll never Believe this !!) Demons ! as the film Cheryl , Kathy , George and Ken are watching unfolds ...... strange parallels begin to unfold off screen ! On screen a guy puts a Demon mask on his face and gets a cut from it . In the audience , a lady who was clowning around with a mask in the lobby of the theatre also has a cut on her face !! (Twilight zone or what !!) As the guy on screen bleeds , She bleeds !! As the guy on screen starts to jitter and jive .. She starts to jitter and jive !!!
"My husband better not catch us , he's a real demon !"
And when the guy on screen Turns into a Demon with a Capital "D" , .... Yup thats three You win the Kewpie doll ........ She turns into a Demon with a Capital "D" !!! Naturally , this puts a bit of a damper on the viewing of the free flick as people and Demons don't mix !! RUN !! RUN for the doors you say !! Right let's get the HELL out of here !! (ha ha pardon the pun !) WRONG !! These are demons folks !!           Our Gals Cheryl and Kathy and their hunky suitors soon find that they are walled into this real life fright flick !!(Gulp !) and they must find a way to survive !!
   As they battle there way through the place , a veritable Diabolical Deluge of Demonic , Decapitational Debauchery ensues!!  Muuhahahhahhaah !! Oh ... sorry got carried away there !
   Demons is a great old flick and you have to see it . Director Lamberto bava , pours forth the gore in rivers of fake blood , green and milky puss , and more eye gouging , throat ripping , scalping and shredding than anyone had seen back in 1985 !! (uug the sound track is as scary as the demons !!)
Check this one out , you'll love it !!
         So Scream fans ......... its getting cold in the dungeon , and I've got to go back ....... back to the realms of light ................... and remember .............. If a man comes bearing gifts ................
                                         TAKE THEM DAM IT !!! 

                            Unless He's got a Chrome Mask that is !! Thats when you run dumb asses !!!  


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