Monday, 31 October 2011

Zombie University

Presented by Happywax 
 Just thought I'd drop some Zombie Humour for you all on this rain dreary Halloween night....

Sunday, 30 October 2011

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

Written by Axemaster October 30 2011
Rating 7.5 out of 10

Directors   -   Henry Joost & Ariel Schulman

Katie Featherton   -   Katie
Sprague Grayden  -   Kristi Rey
Lauren Bittner      -   Julie
Christopher Nicholas Smith - Dennis
Chloe Csengery  -   Young Katie
Jessica Tyler Brown  -  Young Kristi Rey


                       Hey there all you Lost Video Lunatics !! Axemaster here on the day before Halloween with a real tricky treat for you ....... Paranormal Activity 3 !!!!
 Flicks like this are good to see on All Hallows Eve , just to keep the blood pumping !!
Here's the story line in a real quick nut shell ....................
"Are you sleeping ? Let me
stand here for hours if you are !"

  The Flick begins with a scene that takes place one year before Paranormal Activity 2 . In the scene Katie comes over to Kristi Reys house and drops off an old box of Video Tapes . (Hhmmm ) She just wants to store them in Kristi Reys basement . (double hhmmm !) When asked where they came from , Katie says that they came her way after their Grandma passed on , and they date back to when the two of them were little (Triple Hhmmmm !!!!)
     Flash forward to the scenes in Paranormal Activity 2 when Kristi Reys house is seemingly burglarized . The box with the Mystery tapes is missing . (Hey , I know if I was a burglar , the first thing I'd be snatching up is that Vintage Video Tape !!!!)
"I'm the kid that talks to
Creepy Imaginary People !"
     Flash back , to 1988 !! (Ahh red leather , electronic drums big hair
and big shoulder pads !!!) The invisible watcher of all this footage is now watching the very tapes that disappeared from Kristi Reys basement !! Anyway , its 1988 . Young katie and Kristi Rey live with their mother Julie , and her boyfriend Dennis . Dennis runs a business making Wedding Videos (Along with the Wedding Singer !(Ha !!)
He has a garage full of state of the art video editing equipment . Julie and Dennis notice that little Kristi Rey has taken to talking to an imaginary friend named Toby (Creepy !) Dennis takes it one step further and feels that strange things have begun to happen with the arrival of Toby . So , like any responsible couple from the eighties with a couple small girls , one of which is acting a bit odd , would do , they decide to ..........  Smoke Some Pot and .......Make a Sex Tape !!!! (Way to go Dennis you Dog !!) They set up the tri pod , and get busy ! Just as they're about to hit the homer
"Don't worry ! The Internet hasn't even
been invented yet ! The Sex tape is
Our Secret baby !"
........ there's and earth quake !! ( I hate when that happens !) The house starts rocking and shaking and they run out the bedroom door for the girls . As they run the tri pod falls onto its side . The next day Dennis goes through the video of the earth quake and discovers something very creepy . As the camera was on its side , dust from the ceiling drifts down from the shaking and lands on an invisible figure standing at the foot of the bed !! As Julie and Dennis run out the door , the figure seems to turn and follow them out !! Dennis shows this to Julie , but she seems to want to ignore this info ! Dennis however , is determined to get to the bottom of this strange event ! He sets up video cameras all over the house and sets out to prove that they are experiencing ..... Paranormal Activity !!!! (Oh yeah Dennis ! You ain't seen nothing yet !)
"Hey Sis ! Wanna Play with Fire !!!??

   Okay ! I'm going to stop there . I don't want to ruin it for you ! I have read some reviews of the flick that seem to be down on the fact that this is yet another sequel , part 3 to be exact . So yeah there is some Sequelitis happening here . However , this reviewer didn't let that fact stop him from watching the film with an open mind . I found myself entertained and tense all the way through , and ended up liking it the as much as the first two . What number three does very well , is complete the back story of the strange events that befall this hapless pair of sisters through out their creepy lives ! It answers all the questions that the first two films raise , and I think that Joost and Schulman have told a pretty cool story with this Trilogy of Terror !! They still keep the tense atmosphere
"I don't have a thing to wear for a sex
tape ! Oh , thats perfect i guess !"
 going through the whole flick . You're literally waiting for the scare to come ! And when it does , the tingles stay with you for a while after ! As a guy who has watched some pretty crappy Horror Flicks , I can tell you , thats rare .  As for if Joost and Schulman have any more in store for us in this franchise , I can say , it wouldn't bother me if they didn't make number four . If they didn't , I feel they'd have gone out on a high note . However ............ don't forget ....... katie is still out there somewhere with baby Hunter from the end of part 2 !! Something tells this reviewer that ...... we haven't got the whole story yet !!

                     Remember kiddies ......... Its halloween and the Spirits are restless ..........

                                      Make sure you don't upset them !!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           And HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM HAP AND AXE !!!!!!!! 

The Human Centipede 2 (2011)

Written by Happywax     Oct 2011
Rating 8 out of 10

Director - Tom Six

Laurence R Harvey - Martin
Bill Hutchens - Dr Sebring
Ashlynn Yennie - Miss Yennie
Vivien Bridson - Mrs Lomax
Lucas Hansen - Ian

Hey Kiddies, Happys back after a bit of a VA CA from the Dunguon , and  BOY OH BOY have I got a Flick for you tonight !!!!!!!      Martin (Laurence R. Harvey), a deranged man who was sexually abused by his father, lives his life with his abusive mother who blames him for the father being in prison. Martin, a fan of the film THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE, finally reaches his breaking point and begins to pick victims so that he can create his own 12-person centipede. When THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE was released in 2009 it hit with a storm of controversy and it appeared that the film gained a cult following even before it was released. I found the movie to be well-made but found most of the so-called "shock value" to just be hype. I thought the film wasn't nearly as graphic as the filmmakers would like you to believe and the word around the campfire started to build early for this sequel.

  All sorts of rumors were leaked onto the net about how shocking this film was going to be so does it succeed or was it just more hype? I'd have to say a little bit of both but there's no question that this here is a much better movie than the first. With that said, if you're offended by the subject matter or graphic violence then there's no purpose to see this thing as no matter how well-made it is you're not going to make it through.

 The first portion of the film is going to remind people of ERASERHEAD as we spend most of the time getting to know this Martin character. On one hand you can't help but feel sorry for the guy due to him being raped by his father and abused by everyone in his life but then again you really can't forgive anything he's going to do on his quest. I really thought the first hour of the movie did a great job at building a sick atmosphere and a very surreal one without having to use any gore or violence. I think the sickening atmosphere created was exceptionally strong and it's do to the visual style and the performance by Harvey.

 Harvey doesn't get any dialogue so he's just acting his gestures, his eyes and his body movement but he certainly reminded me of Peter Lorre and delivered that same type of creepy performance that you'd expect to see from Lorre. I'm not sure if Fritz Lang's M had any impact on the performance or if the director had it in mind but they are quite similar.

 The supporting players all fit their parts nicely and that includes Ashlynn Yennie, the actress from the first film who plays herself here. Those wanting the gore and violence won't be disappointed but it`s pretty much saved for the final half hour of the picture. We get some pretty graphic stuff that I won't spoil here but if you're familiar with the original film then it's pretty much the same stuff only much more brutal. I think the smart thing director Tom Six did with this sequel is that he filmed it in B&W. This is the perfect example of why B&W is such a beautiful format and it shows what you can do with it.

 The shadows, the perfect lighting and just what it adds to the atmosphere. This film would never have worked in color and I'd even say the mostly silent nature of the picture (no music) was another very big benefit. THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE II (FULL SEQUENCE) is bound to have many curious viewers checking it out and if your stomach can handle the content then you shouldn't be disappointed. Also If you get the chance to check this movie out on VOD like ole Happy did keep in mind you might want to also watch it again when the Directors Cut DVD come out cause I`ve heard their adding almost 3 mins of stuff they cut out in this  Version,  YIPPEE  , more bloody nastiness from the NEW FACE OF HORROR   ``MARTIN``

Monday, 24 October 2011

5th annual Zombie Walk London Ont

Written by Happywax , Axemaster & Karl Headblaster
Rating 10 out of 10

Hey there all you zombie zealots. Hap, Axe and Karl here with a special report on a ghoulish day in london. The  three of us from doomgoryum  were on hand and witnessed a truly astounding event. We came to interview Coleen, Tracy and Dawn who are the organizers of the London Zombie Walk, and were blown away by the socket popping turnout of a horde of six to eight hundred zombies who were shambling throughout downtown london and  Victoria Park. Your pals Hap, Axe and Karl found themselves looking on in awe. We began to feel surreal as the mass of zombies shuffled passed and could easily imagine what it would feel like to find ourselves in a real zombie outbreak!

 Even the organizers were overwhelmed  by the turnout. Obviously the zombies at the walk had put a lot of time and effort  into creating  their costumes to make them look as real as possible. We saw no bad ones!

   Next year yours truly will be dawning the zombie garb and participating in this bad ass event!  Make sure you check out the interview and pics below, and as always tell us what you think.

Sunday, 16 October 2011

The Thing (2011)

Written by Axemaster October 16 , 2011
Rating 7.5 out of 10

Director   -Matthijs Van Heijningen Jr.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead  -  Kate Lloyd
Joel Edgerton    -    Braxton Carter
Ulrich Thomsen  -  Dr. Sander Halvorson
Eric Christian Olsen  -  Adam Goodman
Jergen Langelle     -     Lars                    
"Hap & Axe Say , 7.5 !! ....
look at those handsome devils !"
           Hey there all you Frozen Fright Freaks !
Your old pals Hap & Axe were on hand Friday night to see the long awaited , much anticipated Prequel to John Carpenters 1982 Classic ........... The Thing !!!! 
We went in there with our Parka's and snow goggles on , and our flame throws primed !! Our old pal Karl Headblaster (who Bares a striking resemblance to Windows !!) was also on hand to enjoy the night ! We came , We watched , We saw , We discussed and held council until the Wee hours of the morning , when the candles down here in the Dungeon began to burn quit low ,  about this remake of a Horror Milestone . ( Notice I said ..Remake ? Hhmm .)

                          First let me give you the story line in a real quick nut shell ............

"I like My marshmallows WELL Done !"

It's 1982 , Antarctica . The snow is blowing , and at the Norwegian scientific outpost , they've made a discovery of Mind blowing proportions ! (No not that they can make brandy in a fish tank !) They've tracked a mysterious signal back to its source and found an Extraterrestrial craft buried in the ice , along with the body of the pilot , whom they presumed died in the crash !! They enlist the aid of an American Paleontologist who specializes in thawing out frozen prehistoric specimens . Thus it is that we get four Americans on the scene to help in the historic event . The norwegians are trying to keep things hush hush , so when Kate and her friend Adam goodman are told what they are dealing with , They're flabbergasted !!! The other two
"My God Norwegian Spiders are Large !"
Americans on scene are Chopper pilots Jameson , and Carter (MacReady !! Oh Sorry , sorry ... that just slipped out !) Anyway , they haul the body of the alien back to the base in a huge block of ice , and store it in one of buildings to thaw . Against Kates advice , Dr. Sander Halvorson drills into the block , to take a sample of the "Things" body tissue ! ( Bad Norwegian ! Bad !)
See old Dr. Sander , is the A-Hole on deck . He wants to win the Nobel Prize for this find , and Dam Quick !! So , later on , as the Thing sits thawing , the Norwegians and their guests have a party in the Games room , and as they're dance , drinking and singing , and strumming away , Jameson has
"Hi VeYa  Heya To Die Von by Von !"
to hit the Loo . On the way back , he can't resist but take a peek at the Thing , melting away in the back room ! (Tisk Tisk !) He get the scare of his life , as The Thing literally explodes out of the block of ice and blows out the roof of the building !!
   From here on in , You know the story line folks ! The party is over and the gang head out into the snow to find , their historic Find , before It Finds THEM !!! And let me tell you , if You're Norwegian , and you're looking for the Thing , it's not going to go well for you ! Ola and Henrik find it lurking under one of the out buildings and the Thing shoots out a tentacle with a grappling hook on it and pulls poor Old Henrik into its body ! They torch the Thing and the building , and examine the remains , and Guess what they discover ....... Yup You guessed it Fright Fans !! The Sucker is still alive and it was duplicating old
"I said give me a hand , but
this is Ridiculous !!"
Henrik to a tee !

            Okay . So there you have it . I will not give too much away . But let me say this . If you are going to see The Thing Prequel , go to a Yoga class before hand . Sit cross legged on the floor . Clear your mind and your spirit of all thoughts of the 1982 version ( MacReady ! Oh sorry , Sorry , just slipped !) and when you are calm , and you are in control of your thoughts , and all the things in your universe align , Then go see this movie !
  If you walk in there comparing it to Carpenters , then stay home , because you will just shut yourself down . Lets not forget , There are some folks out there , Who ,
"Do you have an Advil ? I seem
to have a Splitting headache !"
Believe it or not , have Never seen the 1982 version . So give this one a chance .
  What the Prequel does do is tie in very well to Carpenters version . With the exception of one flaw (How the Alien Space Craft was uncovered in the ice field {see if You can figure it out } ) in the plot lines of the two flicks , they match up everything that MacReady and his Pals at the American base are about to find , very well . Some out there will talk special effects . Yes the 1982 version was a seminal moment in special effects history , and always will be , To Us OLD Guys ! There are a lot of kids out there today that think those old effects look , Cheesy !! ( Your Old Pals Hap , Axe , and Karl Headblaster , are NOT one of them !) Yes , I said Cheesy . So if you like CGI , then you may rate this flick
"I never took This in Paleontology Class !"
than we did . For us , the CGI at times seemed , a bit noticeable and perhaps a bit subpar . However , as I mentioned earlier , after burning the Midnight Oil , and the candle wax down here in the Dungeon , we all agreed that we weren't disappointed with this flick .
   As always Horror Hounds , we leave the final say on this one , Up To You ! Get out there . Get that bag of Buttery Bliss , and that Gallon of sugary Excess , sit down for a while , and travel back to Antarctica . They've dug up some Thing , in the snow . Some Thing Nasty .

                         And remember ..............

                                   If you're out in the sea of ice and snow with your pal .........

                                            Make sure he doesn't lose his earring !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, 15 October 2011

Prince of Darkness (1987)

Written by Happywax    Oct 2011
Rating  8.5 out of 10

Director - John Carpenter

Donald Pleasence - Priest
Victor Wong - Prof Howard Birack
Alice Cooper - Street Schizo
Dennis Dun - Walter
Lisa Blount - Catherine Danforth

Hey Kiddies hang on to you seats cause have I ever got a great movie for you tonight...............Prince of Darkness............  Another excellent fright fest from the master of horror, which was unfairly nailed by critics and audience when it first came out. Just like some other Carpenter masterpieces like the Thing and The fog ,Prince of Darkness became a cult classic a couple of years after it's release.

The movie's by far the most intellectual effort of Carpenter.

 The movie's about a group of students led by their professor and a priest trying to prevent the dark lord from setting his father the anti-god free to reack havock on the earth,Sounds familiar right?Well,not quite.The fight between good and evil takes place in a church.Think about it; Satan trying to set his father the  anti-god free in a church! Quite controversial for a horror movie at the time.But that's one of the reasons why we love Carpenter; he is a director who has no trouble  sharing his vision with the audience. He's a director with something to say. Besides that ;the movie gives everything what we expect from the master.

Great Carpenter style of storytelling,a very well written screen play with some unpredictable twists,a unique atmosphere,good performances from some of the best character actors like Donald Pleasence,Victor Wong
,Jameson Parker and Dennis Dun,(not to mention Alice Cooper)and a definite Carpenter ending.

Prince of Darkness is one of the creepiest horror movies of all times and for sure it's one of the best films of John Carpenter. Its just to damn bad about his last couple of outings.  Definatly make sure you dust off this Classis and give it a watch over Halloween !!!!