Sunday, 9 October 2011

Don't be afraid of the Dark (2010)

Written by Happywax
Rating 1 out of 10

Director - Troy Nixey

Guy Pearce - Alex
Katie Holmes - Kim
Bailee Madison - Sally
Nick Bell - Psychiatrist
Garry McDonald - Blackwood
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  Huh , Oh sorry  YAWN !!!!!!!        I just finished watching YET ANOTHER HORRIBLE REMAKE OF A GREAT MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!  Actually, I would be an idiot to try and concisely review this film, I just want to list the STUPID plot holes which ruined the entire movie and literally made me yell "BOOOOOOO!" out loud in my house once the film ended:

1. When Harris gets gang raped and assaulted by the little creatures, why the hell did the police not warrant an ACTUAL investigation to why he ended getting cut up and bloodied all across his body, having his eye punctured and a pair of scissors stabbed in his shoulder? Harris told Sally and Mrs.Underhill that it was an 'accident'

ACCIDENT MY ASS! Only the most moronic and lazy authorities would come up with that conclusion and then not investigate any further regarding the occupants of the mansion and the mansion itself (the crime scene = THE BASEMENT WHERE THE CREATURES ATTACKED THE OLD GUY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!)

2. The little chupacabra-like creatures are supposedly vulnerable to light and can't stand it. How the hell are they able to just leisurely move around the mansion FULLY LIT if they are? One of them is hiding in a flower vase in a fully lit room and it's fine. Stupid.

3. When Sally crushes one of the creatures with the bookshelf, WHY THE HELL DID NOBODY FIND THE CARCASS OF A LITTLE CREATURE???!? Quite frankly, why the hell did Sally did not tell her dad after they broke into the study room after she killed that monster and say, "Hey dumb ass, you see that little mess at the end of the bookshelf? I crushed that monster I've been trying to tell you that exists!"

But nope, she doesn't. Dumbass.

4. When Kim gets pulled into the ash pit by the creatures and supposedly dies in the film's finale, Alex and Sally return the next day to the mansion after it has been foreclosed, only for Sally to leave a picture she drew in memorial to her death.

Okay, so they didn't call the authorities informing her death? No thorough investigation was done to uncover the ash pit and basement to recover her body? They just left the mansion behind? I'd love to see the scene where Alex explains to Kim's family why and how she is missing.

This movie is absolutly AWFUL, Guy Pearce looks like he`s asleep for most of the movie, and Katie Holmes looks Horrible, Why oh why Guillarmo Del Toro would you take one of my Favourite movies from when I was a little kid and TOTALLY RUIN IT, great why to follow up Pans Labriynth  with this PILE of Shit!!!!!!!!!!

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