Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2011)

 Written by Happywax    June 2011
Rating 2 out of 10

Director - Kevin Munroe

Brandon Routh - Dylan Dog
Peter Storemare - Gabriel
Sam Huntington - Marcus
Anita Briem - Elizabeth
Taye Diggs - Vargas
This movie was actually worse than I thought it would be. Getting directly to the point, this movie was slow, boring, poorly acted, poorly directed, and went on for almost 2 hours! I could not wait to get it out of the DVD player after enduring the 1 hour and 45 minutes of garbage on screen. I will now give you a SPOILER ALERT, however, you probably should thank me for saving you from having to watch this piece of crap in the first place!

I am shocked that this movie made it to the big screen. Seemed to be more along the lines of what you might see on the SciFi channel. The script was awful and the directing was amateurish as best.

Some major problems I had with this snoozer:

When Dylan Dog gets punched by the monsters and goes flying a hundred feet through the air: completely stupid and unrealistic. If a human took that kind of abuse, his head would explode like a water balloon. But the man of card-board (rather than steel) himself Brandon Routh jumps up like as if he just fell off his tricycle, hardly the worse for ware.

The zombies were totally stupid. What's the big deal with being a zombie? Apparently they are no different than any other living person except....THEIR EYES TURN GREY! EVENTUALLY! OH NO! Better head off to the zombie support group. Completely stupid.

Lack of motivation of characters. This really bugged me. This was an obvious oversight on the director's part. A good example of this is the scene when Dylan Dog and his idiot zombie side kick are trapped in the crypt that Tay Diggs puts them in. They can't get out, all hope is lost, right? Suddenly Dylan remembers, "Little known fact, Zombies are excellent diggers." But his zombie buddy refuses. Saying, "No. No. I'm not going to do it. No! NO!" Over and over again. Uh....umm....why? I mean, WHY NOT? Why NOT start digging? Is this the director's idea of interjecting DRAMA into this crap fest? Oh, how cute. Dylan and his buddy are arguing over digging themselves out. Why argue over that? Why not start digging? That scene in particular was incredibly stupid and unmotivated and the rest of the movie followed suit.

This was a terrible movie. Don't waste your money, soon enough it will be playing over and over again on the SciFi channel. And where the hell is Groucho, Dylans comic book side-kick, "Hey Kevin, Happy here, I was just wondering if you even read any of the comic books before you made this piece of trash you call a movie" Ok OK , I'm done complaining, im gonna go relieve my pain by scubbing my eyeballs with bleach, I suggest you do the same, if you decide to watch this movie!! 

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like a painful experience, but at least you have a hilarious review to show for it!