Rating 5 out 0f 10
Director - Lucio Fulci
Catriona MacColl - Lucy Boyle
Paolo Malco - Dr. Norman Boyle
Giovanni Frezza - Bob Boyle
Ania Pieroni - Ann , The Babysitter
Silvia Collatina - Mae Freudstien
Hey there all you Ghouls of Gore ! Axemaster is in the Dungeon tonight , with a golden oldie , that is a bit Moldy ! Recently , I was given a box set of classic (and not so classic !) Horror flicks by my brother In-law . He came across it in a pile at the store . Knowing
|"You're a pain in the Neck !! "|
The House By The Cemetery !!! Or as it's also know ...... Zombie Hell House !!!
Here's the story line in a nut shell ...........................
The Flick opens with a scene in a spooky old deserted house .
A woman is calling for her boyfriend Steven , who brought her there for some Nooky !! (That Rascal ! ) As you may expect , she finds that Steven has been brutally murdered and as she is screaming her head off , someone stabs her
|"I've got something stuck in my throat !"|
Flash to New York , where the Boyle family is planning to move to a new home in New England . The House is , er , Yup , You Guessed it Fright Fans ... Right by The Cemetery !! (In the woods no less ! What's wrong with some people !) The plan is for Dr. Norman Boyle to spend six months in the house , to finish up his research project on , well , Old Houses ! Boy did he pick a good one ! His son little Bob Boyle , has begun to see a ghostly friend that only he can see . A young girl he first sees in a photo of the house they are moving to . She warns him not to go . The next time Bob sees her is in New Whitby ,
|"I can't seem to get A Head !"|
|"I've had a Hell of a Day !"|
giggle their way through this flick . For instance , the sound effects guys seemed to like to make the approaching foot steps in the house sound as though there was an elephant walking in there or something ! Every scene seemed to have these hugely loud foot steps , and over loud creaky boards or door sounds in them ! The flick has a scene in it involving a Bat . First it goes after Mrs. Boyle , then it attacks Dr. Boyle ! I won't ruin it for you , but Hap and I were Rolling on the floor Laughing at that one ! Also annoying was this sort of mewling ghost noise that sounded like children crying , that seemed to drift through the house when ever the camera panned around , yet the Boyles never seemed to hear this ! (Lucky Them !) Fulci borrowed heavily from The Amityville Horror and other popular flicks of the times to put some scares into this less than memorable flick , but it just doesn't seem to get Scary ! It gets
|"Silly Hippie ! See ! Yogurt won't|
Give You Supper strength ! Only Meat Will !"
The only reason I don't list this one as a "Stinker" is because of the Gore in the flick . They didn't call old Lucio Fulci "The Godfather of Gore" for nothing . The flick delivers for you Gore Ghouls out there ! Although even the murder scenes are laughable , as the victims just stand or lie there as the killer keeps on carving them up ! Also the Zombie in this particular Hell House is pretty creepy looking . Hey , He'd scare me if he shambled into the Dungeon right now !
Oh well , the flick proves that even the "masters" of Horror can have an off day at the office .
But don't take my word for it Fright Fans !! Decide for yourselves what causes your hair to stand on end , and the goose flesh to crawl up your spines !
Until we meet again , in the darker places ..................
Stay Scared !!!!