Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Munsters TV Remake

Written by Happywax             Nov 2011
Hey Kiddies have I ever got some awsome news for you!!  Over the last month we have heard a lot of chatter regarding the TV reboot of The Munsters. Just a few weeks back we heard that Bryan Fuller had pitched his script to NBC and it appears as if they like what they see as a pilot has been ordered. Today comes word that Bryan Singer director of the Superman Remake ( which frankly I thought was Fantastic ) will be directing the new Munsters franchise for NBC

According to Deadline, Universal Television will be producing the project which has been described as“an imaginative reinvention of The Munsters as a visually spectacular one-hour drama.”

The network currently see’s the show as a potential summer or even series event, at this time there is no word as to when this one will get underway.  I for one LOVE this show, and I can't wait to see it!!

The Munsters reboot is said to feature “striking visuals mixed with all the classic Munsters archetypes. Grandpa Sam Dracula is essentially Dracula who assembled Herman because no man was good enough for his daughter Lily, a sexy vamp. Lily’s niece Marilyn the freak is actually normal and  Lily and Herman’s only child, Eddie, has his werewolf tendencies surface in puberty, forcing the family to relocate to their famous 1313.”    

Friday, 25 November 2011

Dead Heads (2011)

Written by Axemaster on November 25 2011
Rating 7.5 out of 10

Directors   -   Brett Pierce , Drew T. Pierce

Michael McKiddy     -   Mike Kellerman
Ross Kidder             -    Brent Guthrie
Markus Taylor         -     Cheese
Thomas Galasso       -    Thomas Jeremiah
Natalie Victoria        -    Elle Masterson

"Did you remember the sun tan lotion !?"
            Hey there all you Zom Com Crazies ! Axe is back in the
Dungeon tonight with a little treat for you Horror Comedy lovers out there !  .............. Dead Heads !
This one had Hap and I in stitches a few nights ago and is definitely worth taking a peek at !
 Here's the story line in a nut shell .........................

   There's a Zombie breakout taking place ! (there's a lot of that going around lately !) Mike Kellerman has just woke up outside ! He's not really sure how he got there , or where he's been ! There are strange people all around him , moaning and stumbling all over the place ! (Sounds like an awesome
"Man ! Why is , People are always
Sticking It To Me !!!????"
keg party perhaps !) A couple of them notice that he's woke up and turn towards him , but then turn away , uninterested . Yes , You guessed it you Zombie experts you , Zombies are only interested in Living flesh ! Old , Mike , well , He's Dead !! yup , he's a Zombie !!
Only , he doesn't really know he's dead yet ! He ends up running from the chaos of the on going Zombie outbreak  , as though he's not one of them for a while . He tries to get into a house by knocking on the locked front door . The owners are holed up inside , and they tell old Mike to get the hell out of there ! See Mike is a special kind of Zombie , because , he's still aware , and he can still talk ! None the less , the owners of the homestead know the undead when they see one , and after warning him a few times , they blast him ! Mike gets blown off the
"I love the smell of Zombies in the Morning !"
porch and freaks out , do to the large gun shot wound in his gut , and runs off . In a pretty amusing scene , he decides that this must be the end , and finds a quiet spot to lay down and , well .... Die ! He drops back on the ground ..... then pops back up again ! He starts to realize that something is up and keeps moving .
  Meanwhile back at the house he tried to get into , the holed up survivors are being led by a guy named Thomas Jeremiah , who is the no nonsense sort of dude . He's pretty much a one man Zombie killing machine ! The house eventually gets overrun , but Thomas makes it out , to kill Zombies another day . Meanwhile , Mike has bumped into another
"Yes ! Yes this is the worlds dumbest
looking Mustache !!"
talking Zombie !! His name is Brent ! Mike is unsure of Brent at first , but hey , no humans want to do anything but shoot at him , and the other Zombies are not much for conversation ! So , they team up .
Mike still has trouble accepting that he's dead . They go to a bar for a drink (The Zombie outbreak hasn't disrupted business at this watering hole yet ! ...... Yet !) , and discuss their past . Brent knows that he died of erotic asphyxiation ! He has the belt mark around his neck to prove it ! Mike , just can't put the pieces together . All he remembers is Elle Masterson . She was his foxy girl friend in high school ! He was going to pop the question , and bought the ring and everything ! In fact , as he tells Brent this , he reaches into his pocket and , there's the ring ! Brent hatches a plan to go on a road trip so that Mike can find his lost love
"I love you ! And you smell ...
Tasty !!!!"
and tell her how much he still loves her ! Mike argues that if he truly
is dead , as Brent says , then what kind of life could he possibly give her ? Brent talks him into the quest and off they go ! Two Zombies with the world at their feet ! Along the way , they even pick up a pet Zombie , named Cheese ! The road isn't clear for them though . The Zombie outbreak is being fought of course , and as it happens , there are people looking for two special Zombies with speech skills and the ability to think ! These people work for a company that specializes in illegal experiments ! They enlist the aide of old Thomas Jeremiah to track down their special Zombies , and the chase is on !
      Dead Heads is a pretty good dark comedy . The Pierce brothers do a great job with the whacked out story line , and they load the flick with great amounts of gore , whacky scenes and general hilarity !
All in all I think you'll enjoy this one . It's good to have some Gruesome Laughs once in a while !
It can get kind of serious down here in the Dungeon , night after night you know !

                   Until we meet again , in the Darker places ..........

                             Stay scared !!!

Monday, 21 November 2011

The Devil Inside (2012)

Written by Happywax   Nov 2011

So over the course of 30 plus years of subjecting myself to literally 1000s of horrors movies its no suprise that I've become pretty desensitized to the scares in todays horror movies. BUT!!!!  every once in a while a movie comes along that gives me the WILLIES, and the trailer for The Devil Inside is just one of those movies. I had  goose bumps and my eyes started to water, what the Hell does that mean????  Maybe I'm just a big pussy , but watch the trailer below and tell me it doesn't freak you out just a little......................

Synopsis“In 1989, emergency responders received a 9-1-1 call from Maria Rossi (Suzan Crowley) confessing that she had brutally killed three people. 20 years later, her daughter Isabella (Fernanda Andrade) seeks to understand the truth about what happened that night. She travels to the Centrino Hospital for the Criminally Insane in Italy where her mother has been locked away to determine if her mother is mentally ill or demonically possessed. When she recruits two young exorcists (Simon Quarterman and Evan Helmuth) to cure her mom using unconventional methods combining both science and religion, they come face-to-face with pure evil in the form of four powerful demons possessing Maria. 
Many have been possessed by one; only one has been possessed by many.”
The film stars Fernanda Andrade, Simon Quarterman & Evan Helmuth.
This one hits theatres on January 6, 2012.

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Written by Axemaster November 13 2011
Rating 10 out of 10

Director  -  George A. Romero

Duane Jones  -  Ben
Judith O'dea  -   Barbra
Karl Hardman  -  Harry
Marilyn Eastman - Helen
Keith Wayne      -  Tom
Judith Ridley     -   Judy

                         Hello again Fright Fans ! Axemasters coming at you from the Dungeon on this windy dark evening with another review of an all time Classic of modern Horror ................ George A. Romeros ..... Night of the Living dead !!!
"Look Barb ! Pocket Protectors are on Sale !"
Here's the story line in a nut shell ...........

     Barbra and her brother Johnny take a Sunday drive to a rural cemetery in Pennsylvania to visit the grave site of their father . When they get there Barbra gets a bit spooked , and Johnny , being the dutiful brother begins to tease Barbra . He starts to tell her , and this is a Classic Quote from this Classic flick ... " They're Coming To Get You Barbra ! " He repeats it a couple times , and well , You Guessed it Fright Fans !! They Come to get her !! As Johnny is busy teasing his sister , we see an oddly shambling man coming through the cemetery towards the two . He attacks Johnny and in the process slams old Johnny's skull into a tombstone ! (Ouch ! ) Upon seeing her brother presumably killed by
"Dam Razor Rash is Killing Me !"
this strange moaning grayish ghoul , Barbra freaks out and runs for her life ! She runs to an old farm house . She goes in and finds that the owner has been partially devoured !! She runs back out and as she does so , notices that there are more shambling freaks headed towards her and the house ! Just then a pickup pulls up and a tall dude jumps out and drags her back into the farm house ! (This sure isn't Barbs day !) His name is Ben , and he's hell bent on keeping these strange Ghouls from getting in after them ! Barbra tells him that they have to save Johnny , and begins to freak out , slapping Ben ! Ben slaps her back and she collapses in a nervous breakdown kind of way  ! Ben begins to board up the windows and doors with anything he can use ! Ben finds a rifle in the closet , and some shells !(Very Useful when the Dead Begin To Walk The Earth ! Let me tell You !)
"Look ! Gilligans Island ! "
  Once Ben has all the work done and the house is halfway secure , we discover that Ben and Barbra are not alone inside the farm house ! Harry and Helen , a married couple , and their daughter Karen , along with Tom and Judy , a teenage couple , have been hiding in the cellar ! Harry ( a real A-Hole !!!) is sure that the best place to be is the cellar ! He seems quite agitated that Ben doesn't want to go down there and hide with them ! Tom is more reasonable and thinks that Ben has a point when he says that there's No Way Out of the cellar ! To top it all off , Karen is sick . See , she's been Bitten by one of the Ghouls !! ( Gulp !)
and Harry doesn't want to move her . The discord among this gang of hapless heros grows when Ben turns the TV on and they say there are fortified aide stations , where people can find safety . Naturally Ben , being a Doer ... wants to
"Hey Sis ! Remember all those times
You Called Me NERD !!"
attempt to get to these aide stations . Harry , being an A-Hole , doesn't . Through all this Barbra has reverted to a bowl of quivering Jello , and really offers no opinion on the matter . Tom , Judy and Helen , back Bens idea to get the hell out of there , before the growing herd of Zombies break in for a little midnight snack ! So they hatch a plot to get to a gas pump out back by the barn with the pickup , which Ben coasted in on fumes , fill it up , and head to the nearest aide station for a hot meal and a shower !!

Will our gang of heros make it out of the farm house and into town ?
Will Harry get his for being a class A , A-Hole !!??
Will the Zombies get that hot meal on wheels they've been craving !!????????????

"Do You Feel Lucky Punk !?"
You know I'll never tell ! You will have to watch this one yourself and find out Fright fans ! I think that when you do , you'll be surprised at how good this flick has stood the test of time . Romero pushed the envelope with this film in 1968 in a couple of ways . First of course is the gore . Yes , there is feasting of flesh in this flick folks , and I can only imagine how freaked out and grossed out movie goers must have been to see that back just one year after the "Summer of Love" !! We've all become rather desensitized since don't forget , so these gruesome scenes must have blown some Hippie minds back in the day !
    The other way Romero took a risk was casting an African American actor to play the lead role back then . Duane Jones did a great job as no nonsense Ben . Audiences
Add caption
in those days were not used to seeing African Americans in roles where they called the shots . It was a strong performance , and still holds up well , all these years later .
    Night of the Living Dead is the first review that this reviewer has given a 10 out of 10 to . I watched it again just recently , and was very impressed with it . It seems as good as any of the current Zombie films or TV shows that are out , and hey , Why Not !? This is after all , the one that started the Modern Zombie craze as we know , and love it !
   So , pop some corn fright fans , and sit back with this Black and White Beauty , and turn off all the lights ! I really don't think you'll be disappointed !


                                            The light is growing dim down here in the Dungeon ..........

                                                     I've got to get home before dark or else ........ hey ????

                                                              What are those people doing out in the Cemetery ?????

                                                                          Uh Oh ! They've seen me !! 

                                                                                 Stay Scared ... I know I will ! !!! 

The House By The Cemetery

Written by Axemaster on November 13 2011
Rating 5 out 0f 10

Director   -   Lucio Fulci

Catriona MacColl  -  Lucy Boyle
Paolo Malco          -   Dr. Norman Boyle
Giovanni Frezza    -   Bob Boyle
Ania Pieroni         -    Ann , The Babysitter
Silvia Collatina     -    Mae Freudstien

                          Hey there all you Ghouls of Gore ! Axemaster is in the Dungeon tonight , with a golden oldie , that is a bit Moldy ! Recently , I was given a box set of classic (and not so classic !) Horror flicks by my brother In-law . He came across it in a pile at the store . Knowing
"You're a pain in the Neck !! "
of my mania for all things Horror , he picked it up for me and gave me something to do , as the days grow steadily colder , and the dark comes earlier every evening . Thus it is , that I bring you ................
The House By The Cemetery !!! Or as it's also know ...... Zombie Hell House !!!
Here's the story line in a nut shell ...........................

 The Flick opens with a scene in a spooky old deserted house .
A woman is calling for her boyfriend Steven , who brought her there for some Nooky !! (That Rascal ! ) As you may expect , she finds that Steven has been brutally murdered and as she is screaming her head off , someone stabs her
"I've got something stuck in my throat !"
in the back of the head with a kitchen knife , and drags her body off to the cellar ! HHmm ! Shocking opening !
  Flash to New York , where the Boyle family is planning to move to a new home in New England . The House is , er , Yup , You Guessed it Fright Fans ... Right by The Cemetery !! (In the woods no less ! What's wrong with some people !) The plan is for Dr. Norman Boyle to spend six months in the house , to finish up his research project on , well , Old Houses ! Boy did he pick a good one ! His son little Bob Boyle , has begun to see a ghostly friend that only he can see . A young girl he first sees in a photo of the house they are moving to . She warns him not to go . The next time Bob sees her is in New Whitby ,
"I can't seem to get A Head !"
Boston where his Mom and Dad have stopped at the real estate agents to pick up the keys to their Horror Chalet ! So much for not going eh Bob !? Bob talks to the girl and finds out her name is Mae . She tells him again not to go there , but hey , he's like eight right , so he's going ! The real estate agent gives them the keys to " Oak Mansion" and away they go . the place is a mess of course , and they find that the door to the cellar is both locked , and nailed shut ! Hhmm ? The next day , a strange chick shows up and introduces herself as Ann The babysitter ! Okay Ann , You're hired !! Back ground check , Naahhh ! It's the 1970's and we trust everyone !!!
"I've had a Hell of a Day !"
  At this point , your old Pals Hap and Axe began to snicker and
giggle their way through this flick . For instance , the sound effects guys seemed to like to make the approaching foot steps in the house sound as though there was an elephant walking in there or something ! Every scene seemed to have these hugely loud foot steps , and over loud creaky boards or door sounds in them ! The flick has a scene in it involving a Bat . First it goes after Mrs. Boyle , then it attacks Dr. Boyle ! I won't ruin it for you , but Hap and I were Rolling on the floor Laughing at that one !  Also annoying was this sort of mewling ghost noise that sounded like children crying , that seemed to drift through the house when ever the camera panned around , yet the Boyles never seemed to hear this ! (Lucky Them !) Fulci borrowed heavily from The Amityville Horror and other popular flicks of the times to put some scares into this less than memorable flick , but it just doesn't seem to get Scary ! It gets
"Silly Hippie ! See ! Yogurt won't
Give You Supper strength ! Only Meat Will !"
easier to make fun of , and Giggle at !
  The only reason I don't list this one as  a "Stinker" is because of the Gore in the flick . They didn't call old Lucio Fulci "The Godfather of Gore" for nothing . The flick delivers for you Gore Ghouls out there ! Although even the murder scenes are laughable , as the victims just stand or lie there as the killer keeps on carving them up ! Also the Zombie in this particular Hell House is pretty creepy looking . Hey , He'd scare me if he shambled into the Dungeon right now !
   Oh well , the flick proves that even the "masters" of Horror can have an off day at the office .
But don't take my word for it Fright Fans !! Decide for yourselves what causes your hair to stand on end , and the goose flesh to crawl up your spines !

                           Until we meet again , in the darker places ..................

                                          Stay Scared !!!! 

Resident Evil : Extinction (2007)

Written by Happywax    Nov 2011
Rating  6.5 out of 10

Director - Russell Mulcahy

Milla Jovovich - Alice
Oded Fehr - Carlos Olivera
Ali Larter - Claire
Iain Glenn - Dr Isaacs
Ashanti - Betty

Hey Kiddies , Happys here and with me I bring the much anticipated  PART 3..................  In Extinction, the third instalment of the Resident Evil series, the deadly T-Virus has escaped the confines of Raccoon City and contaminated the rest of the world. Zombies now outnumber the living and, as the number of survivors on the planet's surface gradually dwindles, Umbrella Corp experts deep beneath the Nevada desert attempt to perfect an anti-virus.

Meanwhile, genetically enhanced zombie-killing babe Project Alice (Milla Jovovich) travels the country searching for other uninfected humans.

Sporting the latest in sexy post-apocalyptic desert-wear (which naturally includes stockings and suspenders), the drop-dead-gorgeous, high-kicking, gun slinging, slayer of the undead cuts a swathe through legions of shambling corpses (and zombie crows!), rescuing a rag-tag convoy of demoralised people in the process.

Alice convinces their leader, Claire Redfield (Heroes hottie Ali Larter), to lead her convoy to Alaska, where she believes they will be safe from contamination. But first they must head for Las Vegas, where they hope to find enough fuel to last the journey North.

Unfortunately, nasty Umbrella Corp scientist Dr. Isaacs, who has been tracking Alice via satellite, has a nasty surprise in store for our heroine and her new pals when they eventually reach Vegas: he's prepared a container full of extremely nasty zombies to greet them!

Helmed by hit-and-miss director Russell Mulcahy, and written by the equally unreliable Paul W.S. Anderson, Resident Evil: Extinction could have gone either way. I am pleased to report, however, that the guys were on form with this film, and deliver a hugely enjoyable and visually impressive sci-fi/horror yarn that, despite being rather derivative (Day of the Dead, anyone?) and occasionally a little too silly (Alice's telekinesis), is packed with enough action (great stunts, explosions, crashes), gore (juicy zombie bites, knife attacks, bullets in the head), and scares to guarantee horror fans a good time.

Friday, 11 November 2011

Resident Evil : Apocalypse (2004)

Written by Happywax     Nov 2011
Rating 8.5 out of 10

Director - Alexander Witt

Milla Jovovich - Alice
Sienna Guillory - Jill Valentine
Oded Fehr - Carlos Olivera
Jared Harris - Dr Ash Ford
Mathew G. Taylor - NEMESIS

Ok Kiddies gather around cause Happys got part 2 done in the Awsome Resident Evil Series and belieive me when I say Apocalypse is an exciting fun ride throughout. It's action with a touch of horror, crafted to its finest. Make no mistake - this is hardly frightening or dramatic. Instead, it is heart-pounding entertainment like a Terminator movie. There's no time to think. 

 Instead, RE's scene to scene action will spin you through a wild mob of zombies, a perilous graveyard, burning car wrecks, a hopeful helicopter pad, streets full of retreating police, a K-9 unit (Yay!), people clawing at a prison city wall, an empty-looking schoolyard,... all the while with guns a'blazin', people a'runnin', and zombies a'chasin'. The film only allows a pause of silence for the classic slow-motion whizzing bullets, a bizarre car crash, and moments before yet another infected creature attacks. Action.

If you're the hopelessly logical, then this film is not for you. Your mind will inevitably wander through thoughts like if STARS knew about headshots, why didn't they bother giving the Racoon City Police a hint? Or, hmm...those zombies sure are slow on the ground; funny how they were just racing up the steps a minute ago. Don't bother. Give the brain a two-hour break, sit back, and enjoy.

If you're the philosophical type, you'll quickly pick up on the betrayed-by-your-own action/creation theme and smile in understanding when Nemesis rips out an iron bar for a weapon, leaving a spike where it broke off. Good theme. But that's pretty much it. What? You came to a Resident Evil movie to think?! If you're looking for a moral: never be the guy wearing a helmeted uniform in an action movie.

If you're the plot and character development type, you'll instantly recognize it's pointless since everyone already assumes a cliché role: evil villain guy, mercenary badass, deadly girl with gun, laptop scientist, etc. Why develop more on archtypes you already know? In an action movie the only development you need is cliché guy #1 must to save cliché guy #2 while everybody gets the F--- Out of Dodge, er, Racoon City.

If you're the horror type, you'll enjoy the priest and how he takes care of his sister. And oh yes, a scene where a digital camera spies some children with their hands in the 'cookie jar.' Speaking of children, Angie Ashford's a little creepy too. There's plenty of horror – just not as much as 'Dawn of the Dead.'

My complaints? It's OK for action movies to have an ultra-powerful hero, but why god-like? There's no tension and danger when god's around. Fortunately, they RE characters have a habit of splitting up. Also, Nemesis wasn't frightening enough. A good dentist can fix his smile and he could almost pass as a pudgy stuffed animal. Well, except for the rocket launcher.

But,  Like I said if you want a fast paced , zombie killin, ass kicker of a movie than look no futher than this Awsome popcorn muncher, its become one of my favs and I'm almost positive you like as much as I do, just remember to leave all logic at the door..........................

Monday, 7 November 2011

Resident Evil (2002)

Written by Happywax    Nov 2011
Rating 7.5 out of 10

Director - Paul W.S. Anderson

Milla Jovovich - Alice
Colin Salmon - James "One" Shade
Michelle Rodriguez - Rain Ocampo
Eric Mabius - Matt Addison
James Purefoy - Spence Parks
Hey kiddies , Happys got a treat for you, since I'm so stoked that their making another Resident Evil movie ,Due out next year, I've decided to review the first 4 movies this week, Sooooo  lets get started................This has to be the best zombie-mutant-shoot-'em-up-splatter-film I've seen in years! It rocks, it rolls, it's lock and load entertainment of the finest kind! And certainly not for the faint of heart or even weak of stomach!

 Resident Evil, unlike previous attempts to transfer video games to the big screen, is a great action film in its own right.

The plot is very simple: A team of elite commandos is sent into an underground laboratory to find out what caused the death of several thousand employees. Of course, an evil corporation has been evilly getting up to evil tricks and nasty things are lurking in dark corners.

Now forget the plot and fasten your seat belts as the elite team is not only taken apart by some cool special effects but also finds itself on the menu as hors d'oeurvres, entrée and dessert for a horde of ravening zombies, mutated Dobermanns with attitude and a giant 'Licker' straight from the video game.

Writer-director Paul W.S. Anderson pulls out all the stops as the countdown ticks down and the bodycount steadily mounts. There are moments that will make you jump and your pulse race, gunfire aplenty, loads of narrow escapes and some great "Oh Shit !" moments; all to a pounding rock beat.

There's more than enough blood and guts shown, figuratively as well as on the floors, walls and ceiling, to satisfy all but the sickest of individuals, and full credit goes to the prosthetics, make-up and special effects departments.

Milla Jovovich makes an excellent kick-ass zombie heroine (and I for one, would volunteer to have my neck snapped like a dry twig between her thighs anytime!) as does Michelle Rodriguez as one of the troopers.

Resident Evil is everything Tomb Raider should have been and wasn't. If you've lost faith in ever seeing a video game successfully make it to the big screen, you will believe again. If you won't see this film because it's based on a video game, you will be missing out in a big way. Overcome your prejudices, I did, and I guarentee that you won't be dissapointed with this flick...............................See ya tommorrow with part 2